The Franco Files

Life is better in France.

At least according to Florent Malouda. Which is interesting coming from someone whose name sounds like a cross between broccoli bits and a nasty smell.

He also reckons that Chelsea do not give their players advice on proper diets and that they drink coke all the time during training.

Question is - can they tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi?

And what is so good about France anyway?

Well there is the kissing of course. (Or maybe you prefer this version).

And letters. (Tut tut! What were you expecting? This?)

That more refined way of putting people to death, the guillotine (which they largely used on other French people so saving other nations the bother).

Nice cheese. And wine.

But what else?

Well there was always this man.

Renowned for his unusual life philosophies and confounding most in the media with poetic quotes such as:

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown in to the sea."

He didn't always get it right though. I mean just listen to this:

"When you are a rich man you are proud to own a Rolls Royce and when you are a poor man you are proud to own a Renault"

Errr ..... no!

Guess that means I am no Francophile.