Supercalfragilistic Expealidocious

I'm a bit like Mary Poppins you know. Practically perfect in every way.

Sadly for most other mortals this is not the case. Not even footballers. For example they do this and this.

Oh and as I'm only pratically perfect I won't be posting tomorrow. Off for the weekend doing this.

See you Sunday!

Milan Is A Leicester Fan

I reckon that Milan Manderic is alright you know.

Why?

Because he understands passion. He understands desire and he understands hunger.

How do I know?

Well, when asked why he picked Martin Allen above other managers who were apparently more appealing he said;

"I did interview a lot of experienced people for the manager's job at Leicester City. I didn't see any big desire for them to become the manager - they didn't want the job in the way Martin wanted the job. I was impressed with his desire. I genuinely think it's what this club needs at this time."

He understands about the importance of listening too;

".... always listen. There's always good advice available to you but you'll only hear it if you are willing to keep your ears open."

and

"he (Neil Warnock) was on my short-list. But then the e-mails and messages started to arrive, it was clear that a lot of our fans were not so keen on Mr Warnock. So I listened to them".

He knows its the little things that matter as well as the big ones:

"If your dad can't get a pie at half time, maybe you should let me know. Give me a call - then, the following week, I'll come down and queue with you, see if we can sort it out together."

But best of all, he believes in magic:

City Fan: As a City fan for over 40 years, obviously I would love us to be back in the Premiership, but, even more, I want us to win the FA Cup. I'm sure you know, we've played in it four times and lost every one. If you can win it for us, your name will become legendary!

MM: "I'd like to win every game we play. I love the FA Cup; I know what it means in England - and especially here in Leicester. Kate - let's see what we can do shall we?"

Like I said - he's alright.

Sweet Melodies

I've posted before about football singing and chants. There are other ways that the worlds of football and music meet however.

For example do you remember the Anfield Rap recorded by the 1988 FA Cup finalists? Or Diamond Lights in 1987 by Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle, voted 33rd worst single of all time. And then of course there was Three Lions by those dear boys Baddiel and Skinner. Not forgetting that legendary song Vindaloo by that icon of pop, Fat Les.

As for Blue Is The Colour, it almost makes you want to be a Chelsea fan. Only almost though.

What I grew up singing of course was:

Georgie Best, superstar Wears women's knickers and a Platex bra

Myopia

Here's some men's logic for you.

Charlton Athletic club have axed their women's team. Why? Because the men's team got relegated.

And they call us irrational!

They say it is a 'cost cutting measure'. But as one of the women points out, they are the only ones to have won any trophies for the club in recent years. And they were definitely up there amongst the better teams.

If you ask me the decision seems very short sighted. Whilst I recognise that relegation from the Premiership has major financial implications, short term decisions like this have long term consequences. My prediction is that the women's game is going to grow and will eventually be a big thing. Charlton are going to have to start all over again and try to catch up at some stage. Instead of being out there forging a pathway now.

My advice to them? Think again. Stop panicking and invest in the future.

You heard it here first.

Going, Going, Gone!

I've been to an auction tonight. Not a football auction though. It was a charity auction.

Which got me thinking - as you do. What if at the end of each season all the players in the Premiership and Championship were put up for open auction. Clubs would then have to bid for the players they wanted. Whole new teams would be formed within minutes.

And just think girls, a group of us could get together and bid for a premiership player of our own. Now that's a thought.

Virgin Moments

There is a first time for everything.

Here are some football firsts.

The first foreign player in the English Football League was Max Seeburg (a German) who played for Tottenham Hotspur in 1908/09

The first football world cup was in 1930 and the first match was between France and Mexico, France winning 4-1

The first gay football cup final was played this year and was won by GFC Bournmouth

Sir Stanley Matthews was the first professional footballer to be knighted

Arthur Wharton was the first black association professional football player in the world

The first match the Walkers Stadium hosted was a friendly against Athletic Bilbao , and the first competitive match was a 2-0 victory against Watford.

Oh and last night I played my guitar and sang at a party for the first time. Which of course has nothing to do with football but its my blog so I'm allowed.

Leaving With A Thierry In His Eye

Thierry Henry (pronounced Henri for you French speakers), beefy 6'2" captain of Arsenal is leaving. Aaahh!! He is off to Barcelona.

From what I can see he is going to be missed too. Arsenal's all time highest scorer, no red cards on his record and only 4 yellow ones. A good boy then.

And this just a few weeks after rumours of a move to Barcelona were vehemently denied by the Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger.

Which all goes to show that rumour and speculation can sometimes actually be right.

So now, sit back and enjoy his magic in action.

Mind Your Language

Now don't say I don't bring you variety on this blog. Tonight we are going to learn about football related terms from other languages that have no equivalent in our own.

CZECH

Angličan ("Englishman") - a goal that goes in off a post
Česka ulička ("Czech alley") - A reverse pass through the opposing defence.

DANISH

Moses - dribbling between two defenders and into the penalty area (figuratively dividing the Red Sea).
Optimistblikket ("the optimist look") - describes the focused expression on a player's face as he intently watches the trajectory of a shot, suggesting it is going close when in fact it is travelling miles wide.
Pong- from the old Atari game, refers to the practice of knocking the ball around the back to waste time.
T?ler ("toe howler") - a desperate kick with the big toe, lacking elegance, finesse and foresight

DUTCH

Panna ("door or gate") - nutmeg (especially in Surinamese Dutch).
Vuurpijl ("rocket") - a bad attempted clearance whereby the ball is whacked straight up in the air.

FRENCH:

Aile de Pigeon ("pigeon's wing") - whereby a player raises the lower half of his leg behind him to sideways flick the ball forwards with his heel (eg Zlatan Ibrahimovich's goal for Sweden against Italy in Euro 2004).
Le Foulard ("scarf") - passing or crossing by bringing one leg behind the other so that legs are crossed (as often tried by Messrs Ronaldo and Cole).
Lanterne rouge ("red lantern") - the team at the bottom of the league.
Le grand pont ("big bridge") - knocking the ball to one side of an opponent and dashing around the other side to collect it.
La roulette - the Marseille turn, double drag-back, Zidane turn, Maradona turn, Rocastle 360, etc.
Le saut de grenouille ("frog's jump") - clasping the ball between both feet and jumping over the outstretched leg of an opponent.

GERMAN

Aufzugsmannschaft or Fahrstuhlmannschaft ("elevator/lift team") - a yoyo-team (i.e. one that keeps getting promoted and relegated).
Anschlusstreffer - the goal that reduces the deficit to one (eg brings the score to 2-1 rather than 2-0).
Angstgegner ("fear-opponent") - a bogey team.
Bauerntrick ("farmer's trick") - the Cruyff turn.
Bauernspitz ('farmer's point') - like the Danish toe-howler, an oafish kick with the tip of the boot.
Blutgraetsche ('blood straddle' ) - sliding tackle that goes through the opposing player.
Ehrentreffer ("honour strike") - consolation goal, also referred to as ergebniskosmetik ("result cosmetics").
Englische Woche ("English week") - a week in which a team plays both at the weekend and in midweek.
Kerze ("candle") - a bad attempted clearance whereby the ball is whacked straight up in the air (like the Dutch 'rocket', then).
Notbremse ("emergency brake") - professional foul; when the lsat defender or the goalkeeper brings down a forward to prevent an almost certain goal.
Rote Laterne ( 'red lantern') - the team at the bottom of the league (this theme is also found in France, where the basement-dwellers are known as 'la lanterne rouge'; in both countries, the last carriage on a train has a red light at the back).
Schwalbe ("swallow", as in the bird) - blatant dive (also used in Dutch). Den sterbenden Schwan machen ("to do the dying swan") is also very common
Wembleytor ("Wembley goal") - A 'goal' that is awarded even though the ball didn't cross the line. No hard feeelings over 1966, then!

ITALIAN:

Catenaccio ("door bolt") - a game tactic based on rigid defence and strategic fouls.
Cucchiaio ("spoon") - The chipped penalty into the middle of the goal (as made famous by Czechoslovakia's Anton?Panenka in Euro '76 and regularly repeated by Francesco Totti).
Il Fantasista - the man in the hole behind the front two (whom Italians clearly believe should be a creative type).
Melina - passing the ball sideways in front of the defence to waste time when you are leading.
Zona Cesarini - Injury time (named after Renato Cesarini, who struck a very late winner for Italy against Hungary in 1931).

JAPANESE:

Boranchi (derived from the Portuguese word "volante", which means "steering wheel") - a holding midfielder.
Jisatsu-ten ("suicide point") = own goal
Rifutingu ("lifting") - keepie-uppies.

PORTUGUESE (including Brazilian):

Artilheiro ("artilleryman") - top scorer.
Brinca-na-areia ("plays in the sand") - said of players who have excellent skills but no end product (thanks to Hugo Carreira).
Chap? ("hat") - sombrero, or dink over head and dash around to collect on other side.
Drible da vaca ("cow's dribble") - knocking the ball to one side of an opponent and dashing around the other side to collect it.
Embaixadinhas ("little embassies", possibly derived from verb "baixar", which means 'to lower' or 'let fall') - keepie-uppies.
Frango ("hen/chicken") - originally only applied to when the ball went through the keeper's legs but now the term for any goalkeeping blunder that results in a goal.
Ganhar de virada ("win by turnover") - to come back from behind to win.
Togador triatlo ("traithlon player") - a player who runs about a lot and has an impressive repertoire of tricks but no end product.
Pedalada - multiple stepover.
Peixinho ("little fish") - diving header
Piscin? ("big swimming pool") - dive.

SPANISH:

Armario ("wardrobe") - a burly central defender.
Chalaca - the term used in Peru and elsewhere in South America (though not Chile, as becomes clear below) for an overhead kick. Chalaca is the name given to anyone from Callao, a seaport a few miles from central Lima. During the 50s, the club Sport Boys of Callo employed a string of strikers who were experts at scoring from overhead kicks
Chilena - what Chileans calls the overhead kick.
Cola de vaca ("cow's tail") - to stop the ball and change direction.
Chumpigol - a shot from a free-kick that goes through the wall and into the net (especially South American).
Gambeteando ("shrimping") - the term used for long, swerving Maradona-style dribbles.
Gol Ol?ico - A goal scored directly from a corner.
Hacer la cama ("making the bed") - When a player with a defender behind him doesn't jump for a high ball in order to create the impression that the defender has held him down.
Hacer un sombrero ('to make a hat') - dinking the ball over an opponent's head and running around to retrieve it.
Palomita ("little dove") - diving header
Pepinazo ("big cucumber") - powerful long-range shot.
Rabona ("cow's whip") - kicking the ball from behind the other leg (Argentina).
La vaselina - a chip over the goalkeeper's head.
Veronica - a term sometimes used in Spain to describe the Zidane turn/double drag-back (according to Luca Barratti, it's from bull-fighting where some particularly daredevil matadors perform a similar move).

SWAHILI

Kuvalisha kanzu ("wearing the a long prayer robe") - sombrero, to dink the ball over an opponent's head and collect it on the other side

NON-UK ENGLISH

Rainbow - the term used in the United States to describe the trick of flicking the ball up with the heel of one foot and instep of the other while running over it so that the ball travels from below/behind you over your head
Shoeshine - South African term for running the outside of the boot around a stationary ball, usually to taunt a less skilful opponent

YORUBA

Ogede ("banana") - a curling shot

And they are all legit. True as I'm sat on this camel

The City Beat

There are three big stories with a Manchester City FC link in the news at the moment.

Firstly there is the potential new owner, Thaksin Shinawatra, former prime minister of Thailand. Someone whom you might at first glance think would have some ideal qualities - understanding of leadership, a man of the world, who knows when to play the political game and can make things happen. Unfortunately, whilst he may or may not have some of these qualities, what has actually attracted attention is that he is facing corruption charges in his homeland. He asserts that this is no bar to his ownership bid however. Presumably his expectation is that a prison cell is an excellent position from which to run a Premiership football club, what will all that time on your hands to think and plan.

Then there is the very very loud rumour that Sven-Goran Eriksson will be the next manager there. And of course he has not been without controversy. Not only heavy criticism from various quarters about the way he managed (or mismanaged according to your perspective) the England team, but also two high profile affairs, one with Ulrika Jonsson and one with Faria Alum.

Finally, Stuart Pearce, former MCFC manager who manages the England under 21 team on a part-time basis is hotly tipped to be offered the role on a full time basis.

So now you know.

The Importance Of Appropriate Footwear

I fell over today. New shoes with a crappy soul. Grazed my leg and foot and dented my pride.

Which got me thinking (you can feel a corny link coming up, can't you) about the importance of appropriate footwear, when you are playing football (well I did warn you).

So lets imagine (be creative here) that this weekend I have been selected to play for my local ladies' team. What on earth am I going to wear on my feet?

As you can see here, choosing the right football boot is not a simple matter. Anyway after careful consideration I have selected:

• Kangaroo skin uppers (which does rather compromise my vegetarian principles but if I plant a tree and am nice to animals for a week I think I can probably justify to myself)
• An EVA midsole (I deserve a bit of comfort after all)
• Peebax for the sole (on the basis that stiffness and energy for push off are good for the soul)
• Blade studs (just because they sound cool)

What is slightly alarming about the guidance I used, however, is that there is no mention of what I would have thought was a key criteria - colour.

I mean, would you expect to see me in my pink strip (I'm allowed - its a fantasy), wearing red shoes? Or green?

I don't think so.

No - definitely white with a pink stripe for me. Oh and pink laces with a shiny sliver thread in them.

Perfect.

A Poem

The Beautiful Game

Have I missed the point of Football’s appeal?
The love and belonging I can see is real
An excuse, if you like, to kiss and to hug
To wear scarves and sport banners, belong to a club.
And the sport is exciting
The drama, the spills, writ large on our screens,
Full of passion and thrills.
It’s the Beautiful Game, it’s benign, life affirming -
It’s the aggression I find pretty scary.

For me it displays what I hate about the Right
With its blind allegiance to the Monarchy,
A determination to fight
On the pitch and on the terrace that’s tribal, nationalistic,
With Union Jack-the-lads looking hard and sadistic
Masculinity gone mad, enough testosterone to sink us,
It’s the expression of aggression, I don’t get.

And yet - I remember Football Scores
On Grandstand, on Saturdays, sometime after Four -
Me and my brother would close our eyes, and try hard to guess
The results by the tone of the announcer’s voice.
Win, Lose or Draw, Dad would sit in his chair
Checking his Littlewoods coupon
And we’d have to shut up, couldn’t talk, wouldn’t dare.
Or we’d watch as he became an indoor Footballer from his chair.
He’d twitch and he’d groan, legs going, kicking and weaving,
As he followed the game, attention never leaving
The action on the box.
And how he’d leap from his seat, let out a huge cheer
If his side seemed anywhere near scoring a goal.
Or he’d jump, shout: "Offside!"
"Come on Ref, are you blind!"
And I’d watch amazed and happy at my Football Dad
Be proud, try to comment when he’d turn to me and say -
"Did you see that? What’s he doing? That’s a free kick Ref!"
It really made my day
To see Dad - that distant figure -
Transmogrify into Dad of big emotions
It was awesome and beautiful to see,
And I’d hold my breath, and make a wish,
A wish that he’d have some left over,
Please, for me.

Now Dad sneers, says players are soft
And that in his day they bloody well wouldn’t want to hug and to snog.
It’s a different generation.

And I’m not sure if it does say anything about the Nation
When huge emotion on the pitch spills over into aggravation
In the crowd.
Or is it the other way round?
And what is that saying out loud about us?
Is it defusing, or using, or is it abusing?
A necessary reality? A mass display of nationality?
An expression of masculinity on the macho side?
A tribe? All of these and more?

In my life Football’s been on my margins,
A male sub-culture, with alien message.
But maybe I should look closer
Maybe it holds one of the keys
To us.
Or did I miss the point yet again and that really
It’s Just A Game?

© Rosemary Dun

Four Weddings And No Funeral

Four premiership players got married this weekend. Gary Neville and Michael Carrick of Manchester United, the Chelsea and England captain John Terry and Liverpool's Steven Gerrard.

Or as the Telegraph described it, the 'Gs' are turnings into 'Ws'. What they are referring to of course is the phenomenon of WAGS - Wives and Girlfriends of footballers.

Coined largely during the 2006 World Cup, this group of women have become famous in their own right. Well kind of. Apparently they excel in particular at shopping and crying when they Husbands and Boyfriends (would they be HABS?) miss a penalty or get sent off or mess their hair up.

Anyway it would seem the window of opportunity is narrow in the world of football and the short inter-season break has resulted in all 4 getting married on the same weekend. Presumably they were also keen to ensure that there were no pre-match bans which might interfere with the consummation of their alliances.

To Bung Or Not To Bung - That Is The Quest

There's a bit of a row going on in the world of football. Just for a change.

Lord Stephens, former commissioner of the Metropolitan police, was tasked with undertaking an enquiry over a year ago into alleged breaches of transfer rules in the Premier League. Since then, it would seem, he and his team, 'Quest', (try not to snigger. It's not big or clever!) have been lifting stones, ferreting for rotten apples and generally poking about.

An interim report in October 2006 indicated that more lifting and ferreting and poking was required. So they carried on.

In March this year, Lord Stephens identified clubs that had broken or ignored rules in 50 out of 362 transfers from Jan 2004 to Jan 2006. Yesterday came the announcement that they have identified 17 transfers that they have been unable to clear as being free from illegal payments, or 'bungs' as they are known.

Oh and there has been an arrest. Someone from Manchester.

The report has not yet been published but needless to say there is all sorts of controversy and debate. One discussion I was listening to yesterday had agents being painted as the source of all things bad in the football world "If clubs just talked to clubs this sort of thing would not happen". Yeah right then.

Personally I have always found the best cure for a bung to be a spoonful of caster oil and a large dish of prunes. But then what do I know

I Say I Say I Say

Q. What's the difference between a Leeds fan and a coconut?
A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit.

Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and Leeds football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Leeds Fans?
A: It saves time

Q: How can you tell when Leeds are losing?
A: It's five past three.

Q: What do you call a Leeds fan with many girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and a Leeds United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Leeds Fan. Twice.

Q. What's the difference between the Leeds keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.

And finally

Quasimodo asks Esmeralda, "Am I really the ugliest b**tard in the world?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Denis Wise?"

Accumulate To Speculate

Sorry everyone. Another nightmare week with my broadband. Problem with the actual line this time apparently.

But I am back. Hopefully for good this time!

Lots happening in the football world as usual. Looking at the LCFC website and the fans message boards the main topics are transfers and season tickets. There is a sort of 'new term' feel about. The official site has optimistic news articles about a surge in season ticket sales. The fans are speculating about transfers and fixtures.

And in the wider world of football there is speculation about changes of club ownership. Debate about the outcome of next weeks mediation to try to sort out the West Ham/ Sheffield United debacle. And of course more stuff about transfers.

Putting the issue of lack of Internet access to the side, I have to confess I am finding it quite difficult to feel involved. It is one thing to learn about things that have happened. It is very much another to follow the threads of who might go where. Not least because I don't know who most of the people involved are! Just shows how much I have a learn.

To that end a kind friend of mine has given me a book. It is called "How Soccer Explains The World" and has such interesting chapter headings as "How Soccer Explains the Survival of the Top Hats" and " How Soccer Explains the Pornography of Sects" (yes that is "sects"!). I have to finish Alan Bennett's "Untold Stories" first but then I intend to get stuck in.

I reckon if I can make sense of that book I ought to be able to understand everything.

Melchester Rovers Forever

So for anyone out there suggesting that David Beckham is getting too old for football (and I have heard that said), what about Roy of the Rovers?

Roy has been a footballer in the spotlight since 1954. I am not sure what age he was then, but lets assume he was 17, like Ricky Stapleton, the newly signed Foxes striker. That would make him 70 now.

To be fair he has not played football for a while. Since 1997 he has featured in a management role. Moreover, we have not had published news of him since 2001.

Since then though his memory has been kept alive by a group of fans, including a website dedicated to the various aspects of this icon of football.

According to Wikipedia, Roy has been superseded by more trendy alternatives such as Striker (now discontinued too). The article describes Roy as having "an old fashioned and wholesome tone" which espoused the values of "fair play and strong moral character".

Despite this fall from fashionable acclaim, however, I have a hunch that there are still a few boys out there who occasionally think wistfully about their boyhood hero. Personally I was always a Bash Street Kids and Minnie the Minx girl. But I guess it takes all sorts.

Impossible Is Nothing

So Steve McClaren lives to fight another day.

All the commentators were saying that if England had lost against Estonia tonight, Steve McClaren, Manager of the England football team, would have lost his job. As it was they won 3 - 0. Well done that team.

Listening to the match on the radio (see how keen I am getting!) it sounded as if David Beckham was man of the match, and this was backed up by various comments afterwards from presenters and people ringing in. What makes this of particular significance is that Steve McClaren had dropped Beckham from the England team for ages and had given the impression his career representing his country was over.

I must confess that David Beckham holds considerable fascination for me . I am not at all a celeb watcher - indeed I find the whole thing rather distasteful. But it is difficult not to be exposed to the various public sides of Mr Beckham, or Becks as he is often known, and be impressed by them.

Firstly, he is astonishingly good looking. Every time I see him I think "God, you really are gorgeous". Secondly he is a fantastic footballer. Whilst he has not been without controversy and criticism, he has managed to sustain a successful and varied career in top flight professional football for the last 15 years. Thirdly he has been married for the last 10 years to another celeb, Victoria, and whist we can never know what goes on behind closed doors, it seems the two of them have managed to create a happy family life with their three children, despite the 24/7 glare of publicity. Fourthly, when you see him interviewed he just seems a modest, decent, ordinary bloke. And game for a laugh too.

I guess if you asked me what I admire most about him, it is that he seems to have real strength and courage. To bounce back after the knocks, deal with shame and humiliation, overcome adversity and just keep going. Here it is in his own words.

David Beckham is a god.

I Close My Eyes And Count To Three

Graham Poll has retired.

Now it is remotely possible that you read that and said who. This is a blog for beginners after all.

Let me help you. Graham Poll is, or rather was, a football referee. For the last 26 years in fact.

Most of that time he has been well regarded. So much so that he was selected by FIFA to referee during the last world cup, and was hotly tipped to referee the final. But then disaster struck. During a match between Croatia and Australia he showed one player a yellow card 3 times (Revision tip: He should have been sent off instead of getting a third yellow card). He has been unable to explain such a basic and significant error. Imagine committing the worst gaff of your career in front of millions. Poor thing!

Of course, anyone can make a mistake. And it is not easy being a referee.

Of course, Graham Poll is not his real name. That has been changed for his own protection.

Oh and if you are wondering how he chose his pseudonym, watch this.

Ship Ahoy!

All is not well aboard the good ship, The White Pig.

Master Bates has bought the ship back after it went into administration but has agreed to pay only one pence in the pound owed to creditors. There was very nearly a mutiny however, and his offer was only accepted by the narrowest of margins.

Former chairman, Gerald Krasner, described the offer as 'derisory'. He said " Master Bates seems determined to Roger the Cabinboy".

Whilst Master Bates may have grabbed the life raft at the expense of others on this occasion, his career has not been without Seaman Stains. He was chairman of Chelsea between 1982 and 2004, and although he turned the fortunes of that ship around, he fell out with numerous captains and crew during his time there.

To cap it all he remains a supporter of that wicked pirate of the seas, Denis Wise, who far from needing to walk the plank, is in fact one himself.

Time will tell whether The White Pig will become a flagship or end up on the island of the Dodos.

It's Life Steve But Not As We Know It

You may remember me mentioning that my lover supports Reading FC. No? Well obviously it is not something I like to talk about much. A sort of shameful secret.

Anyway the manager of Reading, Steve Coppell, has been named Manager of the Year for the 06/07 season. That is for the second year running. Quite an accolade.

Not surprising though given what he has achieved. He took Reading into the Premiership the previous season and this last season they finished 8th, just missing out on going to Europe next year.

I guess the other thing that is interesting about him is that he just seems to get on with his job. No running around looking for lost dogs like a certain other Premiership manager.

Having said that however, with the season over, it seems Mr Coppell has a little more time on his hands to participate in some of his other interests.

Stranger Than Fiction

Here are a few weird and wacky things that I have learnt about football today.

1. It is against the rules for male footballers to go topless on the pitch (and presumably females). Cristiano Renaldo was actually booked once for just that thing, resulting in a campaign by some female German politicians to legalise the practise. Gets my vote

2. An Argentinian football fan is suing his tattooist after he tattooed a picture of a penis instead of his club's badge on his back. The tattooist supported a rival club.

3. Leroy Rosenoir is the shortest lived football manager in the history of the football league. He was manager of Torquay United for just 10 minutes before the club changed hands and the new owners promptly sacked him

4. A Kenyan man, Kenneth Yoga holds the world record for bouncing a football with one leg whilst seated at 4:30:33 hours. Whilst impressive you can't help asking yourself - why?

And finally - this is a bit of a weird goal.

Don't have nightmares!

Soxes In Boxes, Mad Dogs And Foxes

You must be wondering where I have been!

Well I have been moving house. Which accounts for a couple of days not posting I guess. But then BT messed up transferring my Broadband. So I have been 'sans Internet' until today. Talk about feeling as if you have had a limb cut off.

Still here I am. Back with a vengeance.

And there has been so much happening in the world of football since my last confession - er I mean post. Just over a week has seen big changes at Leicester City alone. These include:

• A new manager for The Foxes, Martin Allen
• A new shirt for The Foxes (see picture)
• A makeover for the official website
  

So lets spend a brief moment looking at each of these.

Martin Allen

Also known as "Mad Dog", it would seem he too is a blogger. He already has links with Leicester it would appear, running a successful French polishing business in the city. Time will tell of course but one has to hope that any polish he brings to LCFC will be more than just veneer (yes alright I know that is dead corny but I'm out of practise!)

New Shirt

Oh dear. Whoever told them that was a good look! I mean Topps Tiles. It doesn't exactly shout 'cool' does it. And just how many people will be wearing that shirt in the picture? It looks as if it has been through one of my "oh dear I accidentally put it on too hot a wash and now it has stretched beyond recognition" washes.

On the plus side, Topps Tiles claim to be "Britain's top tile and wood flooring specialists", so at least "Mad Dog" Allen will have something to rub to a mirror shine.

Oh and do check out Tiles FM on the Topps Website (you can find the link just above the wooden flooring icon). Mmm - funky!

Website Makeover

And finally the official LCFC website has had a makeover. Bit confusing until you get used to it but I have to say a definite improvement. Who knows one day they may even decide to link to this website. Now wouldn't that just add a bit of class!