I Say I Say I Say

Q. What's the difference between a Leeds fan and a coconut?
A. One's thick and hairy, and the other's a tropical fruit.

Q: What's the difference between a Pyromaniac and Leeds football club?
A: A Pyromaniac wouldn't throw away all his matches!

Q: Why do people take an instant dislike to Leeds Fans?
A: It saves time

Q: How can you tell when Leeds are losing?
A: It's five past three.

Q: What do you call a Leeds fan with many girlfriends?
A: A Shepherd

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and a Leeds United Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Leeds Fan. Twice.

Q. What's the difference between the Leeds keeper and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.

And finally

Quasimodo asks Esmeralda, "Am I really the ugliest b**tard in the world?"
"Why don't you go upstairs to the Magic Mirror and ask ?" says Esmeralda.
Quasimodo goes upstairs to the mirror and returns a few minutes later.
As he hobbles in Esmeralda asks "Well, what did the mirror say ?"
To which Quasimodo replies, "Who's Denis Wise?"