Blimey! It's a bit of a war zone out there isn't it.
On the pitch they've been dropping like flies. According to one source there were 78 Premier League players out of action through injury as of last Friday. I don't know what that is as a percentage of the total but it sounds a lot to me.
And you are not safe off the pitch either it would seem. Even working at a football ground could render you vulnerable to ending up in a physical altercation.
There was the man who decided to do a bit of 'deer hunting' when his team failed to win a crucial game this weekend.
And according to The Telegraph, the vultures are circling at The Walkers hoping to feed off the rotting carcass of relegation.
The only way we can win the war is if Southampton lose their next two battles or we beat Stoke.
Please let it be OK.
I couldn't bear this.
