Buzzzzzzzzzzz

How do you feel about annoying little insects?

No I don't mean John Terry or Gary Megson.

I mean mosquitoes.

No, I'm not too keen either.

And neither is Sir David Beckham. Nor Andrew Murray.

Got a spare £5?

What If?

My lover and I have a game we like to play.

Well a number actually. But the one I am going to tell you about is a football game.

It's called "What might they have been".

So take for example football managers. What would they have been if they had not gone into football.

Here are some of our answers:

Arsene Wenger - Choreographer, a dance genius
Sir Alex - Pub Landlord, of a thriving local with an international reputation
Gary Megson - Travelling Salesman, struggling
Scolari - Coach Driver, the sort you all have a whip round to raise a collection for
Benitez - Pork Butcher, with a sharp eye for detail
Gareth Southgate - Supply Teacher, its the fear in his eyes
Roy Hodgson - Undertaker, with a soft heart
Big Sam - Pieman, of course

Why don't you play too?

Nobody Loves Him

Nobody loves him
Everybody hates him
Thinks he lives on worms
Short fat hairy ones
Long thin slimy ones
See how they wiggle and squirm
Bites their heads off
Slurps all the juice up
Spits their skins away
Nobody knows how much he likes
His worms three times a day.

All together now.

They're Doomed!

I know it's only two games into the Premiership season but you can't help speculating who will be the first manager to get the big El Bow.

Alan Cubishley has to be a hot favorite. The Hammers poor start, coupled with an indifferent season last year are likely to be making him feel very insecure, whatever he says. A matter of when rather then whether I should have thought.

Then there are the reports that Special K is at war with his board, Dennis Wise (but to be fair, who wouldn't be) and anyone else who's up for a fight. The results on the field aren't too bad yet though so that may help him stay in his seat for a while.

'Sparky' at Man City has definately had a shaky start one way or another, although it is still early days.

Then there's Megson at Bolton. No reason to think he may be sacked imminently but we can always hope........

And of course Mr Ramos at Tottenham. If he's in his job by the end of the year I'll say "I love Leeds United" three times out loud (I reserve the right to keep my fingers crossed though).

They're doomed I tell you. Doomed.

One Jump Ahead

You know how I sometimes say "You heard it here first"?

I just want you to know its the truth.

For example I was talking about this issue back in August last year.

And do you remember the time I predicted Gary Megson would become the Foxes' manager? And I was right of course (although to be fair, with the advantage of hindsight I wish I hadn't been)

Now it seems some people are recognising that the idea of team GB is politically driven. Like I said earlier this week.

I told you so is not a very nice expression.

But you did hear it here first - didn't you?

Keep Singing The Blues

It's been a bit glum around here tonight as you can imagine. Both The Royals (the team my lover supports) and The Foxes lost their matches today.

We were trying to think of things to do to cheer each other up. Tricks. Stunts. Playing guitars. Eating cake. Singing.

Then we had an idea.

Do you remember how your mum always used to say "There's always someone worse off than you"?

So we counted our blessings and thought how glad we are tonight that we are not:

• A Magpie


• A Hatter


• A Ram


• Gary Megson

You see. Your mum was right.

I've Got A Little List

Life is full of lists. Isn't it?

Cristiano Renaldo is on the 'list' for the world player of the year award, along with Kaka and Lionel Messi.

Poor Harry Redknapp, our own MM and co. are of course on a list they would rather not be on.

Knowing that my readers will be of an intellectual bent, (well obviously because you appreciate this blog!), I'm sure you will have spotted the reference in the title to the Gilbert and Sullivan song of the same name.

What's great about the G&S list is that it is a list of people who won't be missed.

So what football personalities might find themselves on such a list?

Morhino? - No he is definitely missed. By many.
Mandaric? - No, I believe he would be missed.
Megson? - Who?
Fryatt? - Well he will definitely be missing, for the next match at least having lost his appeal against a red card.

I'm sure you will have 'lists' of your own.

Me - I'm off to write my Christmas list. Don't want my lover being lost for ideas do I?

The Punditry Of Pies And Parkas

Clearly my reputation as an emerging football pundit has reached further than I realised. When I arrived at The Walkers today there was Sky Sports waiting to interview me!

Seriously they did! And it was screened, because I had a bemused phonecall from my stepson later in the afternoon who had just seen it.

I was asked about my views on Megson and what we might want in a new manager etc. And there was me in my LCFC shirt, new LCFC scarf, dodgy parka and hair all over the place.

Just goes to show a girl can never be sure when stardom will strike and should be prepared at all times. If I had known I was going to be on TV I might at least have tried to show a bit of cleavage.....

Anyway back to the match.

I have to say that whilst you might argue I am hardly an expert (this is only my third live match), today was the best I have seen the Foxes play. They weren't perfect by any means and Barnsley were not the most challenging side. Nevertheless, there were times when play got exciting enough for me to leap to my feet and shout/cheer/applaud. Being in the Kop meant I had a great view of the two goals too (see picture above of Kisnorbo's goal)

To add to it my lover and I shared the headphones for his little radio and listened to the commentary on Radio Leicester. For a girl new to the game like me it was a really useful way to learn as I went along, whilst still getting the atmosphere of being at a live match.

Having taken a quick look at Talking Balls my fairly positive views seems to be at odds with the fans posting there. I stand by them though. I have had a great day out. And I am famous!

PS: My first pie experience proved a disappointment - as you can see from the picture

Ginger Mourinho

The Blue Army is gearing up.

On 31st October we play Chelsea in the Football League Cup. 6,500 tickets have been sold to LCFC fans, with over 2000 going on the 39 official coaches.

And in an amazing coincidence, Gary Megson has recently been dubbed Ginger Mourinho by Foxes fans. Not that I am convinced the Chelsea fans will be fooled of course. I mean our fox-coloured version could not in all honesty be mistaken for a twin, tragically separated at birth from The Special One.

I do hope, though, that Megson has built a better relationship with Milan than poor Jose and Abramovich.

You Heard It Here First

I have hot inside information that our next manager is going to be Gary Megson. I have tried telling them on Talking Balls but for some reason they don't believe me. Obviously I can't reveal my sources, but time will tell.

So Gary Megson. What do we know about him?

Well for a start he is ginger. Not that that is necessarily a bad thing of course. Despite the views of some on the subject (a prime example of which is here).

But it does carry its own hazards. For example, did you know that ginger people are more likely to feel pain? And are in danger of extinction?

And then of course there is the worry for us non-gingers of saying the wrong thing and causing offence. There is some useful advice on this here.

Anyway, gingerness aside, he successfully managed West Brom between 1999 and 2004, taking the team into the premiership twice. His later stint at Nottingham F*****t was less successful and it would seem he was essentially drummed out by the fans after disappointing performances.

So when he is appointed - just remember you heard it here first.