All A Question Of Perception

It's a rare thing to be in the presence of a deity.

Which perhaps makes it all the more surprising that Terry Butcher has refused to shake Maradonna's hand - or indeed touch any other part of his body.

Clearly a man who bears a grudge.

And after all, as the holy one explained, whats a little bending of the rules between friend?

It's all a question of perception.

For example what about poor misunderstood Drogba? Given a 3 match ban for throwing a few coins into the crowd.

And Ramos, a man of few words, whose quiet brooding manner was interpreted as not grasping the English language or forming any sort of relationship with his players.

It's a tough old world when people don't understand you.

Reasons To Be Cheerful

There are some people with pretty cool names in football.

Like Arsene Wenger being called after the team he manages

On the other hand, there are definitely names you can wake up in the morning and feel really glad they're not yours.

Like Dean Windass (Hull City player)

Talking of things to be glad about, keeping your job as a manager seems to be something to aim for at the moment.

Ramos. Ternent. Boothroyd.

Question is will I be feeling glad at the end of tonight's Johnstone Paint Trophy against Rotherham?

Down The Plughole?

I can't say I have ever particularly warmed to Tottenham Hotspur as a team.

But a soft-hearted girl like me can't help but feel a bit sorry for them.

There is clearly something wrong at a very deep level there. They are definitely in trouble.

So who's to blame?

Well of course there is increasing finger pointing at the manager, Signor Ramos.

Then what about this whole business of the quality of players, particularly in the light of the outcome of the summer transfer season, when they sold key players but didn't replace them.

Footballing decisions or the sign of a club in financial trouble?

My instinct tells me that simply sacking the manager isn't going to fix things, although if, as I suspect, the problem is one of leadership then Ramos is part of that.

I have little doubt there is considerable drama yet to unfold in that situation.

And if Ramos is still there at Christmas, I'll live on pies for a week.

They're Doomed!

I know it's only two games into the Premiership season but you can't help speculating who will be the first manager to get the big El Bow.

Alan Cubishley has to be a hot favorite. The Hammers poor start, coupled with an indifferent season last year are likely to be making him feel very insecure, whatever he says. A matter of when rather then whether I should have thought.

Then there are the reports that Special K is at war with his board, Dennis Wise (but to be fair, who wouldn't be) and anyone else who's up for a fight. The results on the field aren't too bad yet though so that may help him stay in his seat for a while.

'Sparky' at Man City has definately had a shaky start one way or another, although it is still early days.

Then there's Megson at Bolton. No reason to think he may be sacked imminently but we can always hope........

And of course Mr Ramos at Tottenham. If he's in his job by the end of the year I'll say "I love Leeds United" three times out loud (I reserve the right to keep my fingers crossed though).

They're doomed I tell you. Doomed.

I Ain't No Prawn Sandwich Fan

You'll all be relieved to know I am back.

It's like I always said. Give a Reading fan a blade of grass and they take a football pitch.

Thanks to those of you who have been leaving comments. I was beginning to think I was at an Arsenal match it was so quiet.

Anyway, one of these comments by a new reader, Colin Randall, himself a football blogger, challenged my fervent Foxes fanship (try saying that when you've had a few) on the basis that I show too much interest in and favour towards other teams.

It made me think about a conversation I had with my lover recently about the prawn sandwich brigade, some of whom (allegedly) change allegiance on a regular basis (only amongst the top four clubs of course).

The sort of think a member of the "prawn sandwich brigade" might say is:

"I think I'll support Chelsea next year. It will be nice to watch a team playing in a different colour for a change."

or

"I chose Manchester United because the parking at the ground is easier than at Liverpool"

As you know I am fairly new to football and have only been a Leicester City fan for about a year. You might wonder therefore how deep the roots of my loyalty really go. I have to confess to asking myself the same question with the threat of relegation looming so large.

I jokingly suggested that if they are relegated I would choose a different team. As I did so I had this really weird feeling. Like guilt. As if I had committed adultery or was at least contemplating it. I quickly realised that I could no more support another team than change sex. Even after such a short time and all the trials and tribulations, I'm a Foxes girl through and through.

But my journey has been about learning to love football and that has included learning to appreciate good football. So inevitably I have watched other teams play and bizarrely (although I don't believe for a minute I am unique in this) have found myself forming opinions and a level of allegiance on the scantiest of evidence.

None of these views would stand up to much scrutiny or analysis but here is my take on the Premiership teams:

Arsenal: I have a love for them because sometimes they play really really beautiful football. I don't like the persona Wenger presents in public but I do think he is a great and passionate manager. And of course my son loves them so I have an understandable affinity
Man U: How could you not love the football they play? I am much less keen on Fergie though even though I know he is a god in many ways.
Liverpool: I feel less pull to them although I love Crouchy
Chelsea: I can't love them Mourinholess
Newcastle: I'm sorry Mosher. I can't love a team who think KK is groovy and look like a packet if mint humbugs
Reading: I have to like them because my lover does. I do sort of - they have an underdog appeal don't they
Everton and Blackburn: Like 'em a bit. No idea why
Sunderland and Tottenham: Well there's Roy Keane and Ramos - yum!
Man City: I have to confess to finding Sven just a little bit sexy..........
Birmingham, Aston Villa and West Ham: No feelings either way
Portsmouth: Not sure really. Harry is a bit too much of a wide boy for my liking
Middlesbourgh and Wigan: Seem a bit dull
Fulham and Derby: I'm sorry. You can't love the unloveable.
Bolton: May they die a horrible death

Yet despite these strange affinities, I couldn't support any of them. Not like Leicester.

No - there is no doubt about it. Given the choice between a pie and a prawn sandwich I'll take the pie every time.

The Football Curriculum

I've had an interesting day today.

My lover and I went down to Brighton. He went to see his daughter and I indulged in some retail therapy.

I won't bore you with all the details except to say that hanging monkeys and banana hair slides featured.

Of course I did not abandon my commitment and responsibilities to football, whatever the distractions. I mean how could I on League Cup day for goodness sake?

There I was wandering the streets with my little radio in my ears keeping me updated. At the mercy of the radio commentators.

Oh dear! What a lot they are. I mean talk about arm chair managers. And they are so inconsistent. One minute they are slagging off Ramos for his decision to deepen his defences once Spurs had scored their second goal, the next (once Spurs had won of course), hailing him as a god.

And Avram Grant who until today seemed to be defying the critics and winning praise from various quarters, including the media, has suddenly become incompetent.

I appreciate it is a quick fire activity. I respect that they have to keep talking about something, even when nothing is happening. And I admire the way they are able to offer up-to-the-second commentary on fast moving action. I sometimes find I learn a lot from their explanations.

At other times, though, they do seem to struggle with various aspects of the football curriculum;

Maths for example;

'Peru score their third, and it's 3-1 to Scotland.' - DAVID COLEMAN
'Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals.' - TONY GUBBA
'Ian Rush is deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn't one of them.' - PETER JONES

History;

'Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs team.' - MIKE INGHAM

Biology;

'Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.' - JOHN GREIG
'...he's using his favourite left foot..' - ITV commentator
'Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead.' - TOM PERRIE

Domestic Science;

'The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee.' - MIKE INGHAM
'And Rush, quick as a needle...' - RON JONES
'...a tale of too many cooks in the defence.' - IAN BROWN
'A smoked salmon sandwich of a football match if ever there has been one.' - PETER DRURY
'He runs a very tightly knit ship' - ROB HAWTHORNE

Literature;

'Emile Zola has scored again for Chelsea' - Radio 5 Live
'They say football is unscripted drama and this match certainly hasn't followed the script tonight.' - CONOR MCNAMARA

Languages;

'It's deja vu all over again.' - GARY BLOOM
'Cantona's expression speaking the whole French dictionary without saying a word.' - BARRY DAVIES

Geography;

'Stockport usually play at Edgeley Park, but this time they've come to Maine Road, because, um, this is an away game' - OSKU LAUKKANEN

They do, however, appear to excel at stating the bleeding obvious;

'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal' - DAVID COLEMAN
'Leeds are enjoying more possession now that they have the ball.' - SIMON BROTHERTON
'In this sort of match, whoever scores the most goals wins' - PORTUGUESE COMMENTATOR
'At the beginning it was a 90 minute game, at halftime it was a 45 minute game and now it's even shorter.' - ABC COMMENTATOR

Being a girl just learning about football, it's no wonder I get confused.