Hit Me Baby One More Time

One of the many things I admire about my lover is that he works with male perpetrators of domestic violence using group work to help them understand, manage and change their behaviour.

It's complex and challenging work as you can imagine. It takes place within a context where the only way individuals have the power to effect change is on an individual level. Yet societal and cultural values contribute to the way they think and act. And you can't easily change the world around you. In other words its about much more than simply whether you hit someone or not.

I overheard my lover talking to someone about his work a couple of nights ago. The person he was talking to had done a placement with the Probation Service a number of years ago when he was a social work student.

My lover was explaining to him how different it is working with the men now compared to say 10 years ago. The biggest change, he said, is to the starting point of intervention now. By the time men get to his group, they already have a sense that what they are doing is wrong and have some desire to change. This contrasts with earlier times when domestic violence was a much more hidden crime.

I have to say, despite some real individual successes on the programme he runs, developing a sophisticated understanding of this complicated crime and associated behaviours within wider society is not mean feat. I still hear people say (although much less now I am pleased to report) "She must like it or she wouldn't go back". But there is an increasing awareness that it is a massive issue, not simply about men hitting women, but including same sex, women on men and elder abuse.

Hopefully bit by bit understanding and the development of an environment in which such behaviours can be extinguished will emerge. I'm proud that my lover is a part of that.

I hope Sir Alex's son will have reflected on recent events to reach out and receive the support and help he needs.

It Ain't Necessarily So

Someone said to me the other day "I wonder if you'll end up like Karren Brady, the woman who broke the football glass ceiling by becoming managing director at Birmingham".

My response now would be "I hope not".

I don't know what to think of all the corruption allegations. Logically, given how much money is in football these days and how much is at stake, you could almost expect there to be some dodgy dealings. The question is how much and who is involved.

If some of the people that have been put in the frame so far turned out to be guilty that would be truly shocking, simply in terms of how high profile so many of them are.

It certainly seems to be a massive operation and investigation that is going on. All goes quiet for ages then a high profile arrest or two then all quiet again.

Of course simply levelling allegations does not make them true.

Just ask the owner of Fulham.

No Laughing Matter

This won't be a long post tonight. I'm exhausted with the emotion of watching the Liverpool/Arsenal match.

What drama. I so wanted the Arse to win. They seem to just miss out all the time. And Walcott. He is a complete dream.

I went mad when Adebayor's goal went in. I thought that was it. And then to lose out to a penalty which was almost a carbon copy of the one Arsenal didn't get awarded in the first leg.

Babel's goal was the icing on the cake for them of course. But you couldn't claim that either team didn't put their heart and soul into trying to win that match.

Amazing.

So I have had a great, if agonising footballing evening Which began, interestingly, with a conversation on air with the man who runs this business. Who is also a Luton fan. (Well he would be, being into laughter therapy, wouldn't he? You'd certainly need a sense of humour)

Apart from that he was OK and we chatted about all sorts. My first foray into the local radio station I told you about the other day.

Oooh errrr!

Little did he know he was interviewing the soon to be famous Georgina Best.

You heard it here first.

On Your Bike Mike Pike

Ollie is not a happy bunny it has to be said.

He is adamant that the alleged foul that resulted in a penalty after 10 minutes on Saturday and the sending off of Kisborbo was not a foul at all and that in fact contact was not even made.

I haven't seen any footage unfortunately so can't make a judgement but if the claim that it was a bad refereeing decision by Mike Pike (you couldn't make it up could you!) turn out to be true, it will not be the first time that Kisnorbo has been wrongly accused and dismissed from the pitch.

The campaign to use video technology to reduce the risk of poor decisions in football, and indeed other sports, continues.

Mind you, sometimes players are their own worst enemies. Sometimes they have a gift on a plate but still manage to screw it up. Wonder how many nightmares Kayode Odejayi of Barnsley will have thinking about his miss yesterday.

He's not alone though.

I don't know which is worse really. Being the author of your own downfall or being the victim of a miscarriage of justice.

Either way, its painful if it's one of your team.

The Foxes are appealing the decision of course. Even if Kisnorbo's two match ban does get overturned, it won't turn back the clock.

Sometimes life is so unfair.

There's No Business Like Snow Business

What's it like round your way?

It's snowing here. Beautiful sunshine this morning after waking up to a scattering of snow. But now it is coming down quite heavily.

It created difficult conditions for some of the matches today too. Not quite as extreme as this it has to be said. Or this.

I have to confess to a child-like love of snow. Having fun like this, or this, or even this. There is nothing like it.

A bit of me secretly hopes we get snowed in over night. That way I could be holed up with my lover for the day tomorrow. Eating baked potatoes and drinking hot chocolate.

Shame we haven't got satellite yet. I'm sure we could have found some match replays to watch to while away the hours.

Fiddling While Rome Burns?

This is really yesterday's post. I have to confess that instead of showing some discipline and knuckling down to write, I allowed myself to be lured into an evening of wine tasting, delicious food and song.

A girl is entitled to some solace after a bruising 3 - 0 defeat.

I just had a quick look on Talking Balls and you won't be surprised to learn that the other Foxes fans are restless. There are a number of comments about Ollie finding time to do his weekly BBC column when perhaps you should be focusing on ensuring the survival of our team. Of course it is not a logical argument but the juxtaposition of another crushing loss with his lighthearted comments does feel a little grating. Fiddling while Rome burns?

He's not the only manager experiencing a rough ride from the fans at the moment. 'Average Grant' as some are now calling him, is feeling the pressure following Chelsea's defeat earlier this week in the first leg of the Champions League against Fenerbahce.

King Kev, on the other hand, has returned triumphant. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he is The Messiah after all. If this continues it won't be long before he is walking on water.

And Steve Bruce must be puffing out his chest this morning after beating his former team yesterday. Have some of that!

It's a world of winners and losers for sure. I just wish we spent a bit more time in the former category.

I Would Love It If They Came Out - Love It!

OK OK.

So you want to know about my Ronaldo/Torres fantasy mentioned in yesterday's post.

Well, as we all know, Cristiano Ronaldo is a bit of a dude. Besides being a hugely talented footballer he is extremely good looking. A fact not only appreciated by girls.

Torres too is very beautiful.

Neither is my type to be honest, on the basis I like my men a bit more rugged and earthy, but I can see their attraction and would struggle to choose between them.

I am not usually prone to drifting off into the world of homoerotic fantasy. But for some reason last time I was watching Liverpool play, an image of Torres and Ronaldo making out came into my head.

I don't know whether they like girls or boys or both. There is a bit of me though would love to see one of them or some other really top, loved football star, come out. What a challenge that would be for the footballing world!

There is certainly not a history of accepting gay players in main stream football. How could that world turn their back on someone at the top of the game though?

I hope someone does have the courage one day. I think the time may well be right.

Lump It, Hump It And Hope

By general consent The Arse was robbed last night.

It led to an interesting debate on Talk Sport this evening as I was driving home. One of the more informed debates I have to say. Fans of various teams ringing in and talking football properly, with passion for their team but a degree of objectivity too.

The discussion was about the top four and the sort of football they play.

Man U of course are simply on fire. They have great teamwork going on and whilst they have the odd hiccup it is hard not to view them as pretty amazing.

Chelsea, despite being up there, are not renowned for their beautiful football. And of course dear Avram (whom I heard described as a fat Larry Grayson today to me amusement) is getting some stick about his tactical abilities.

Then there is Liverpool, who in my view have some fine players (including the beautiful Torres. Which reminds me I must tell you sometime about my fantasy of what might happen if Torres and Renaldo ever got together...............................). They lack consistency however, and on a number of occasions now have, in my humble opinion, lacked shape and flair.

Finally of course there is The Arse. I know you would argue that results are what counts at the end of the day but I am a great believer that the means should justify the end. I would love to see them have a major success won through skills rather than simply power and brawn.

It's like someone said on Talk Sport. There is the beautiful football school of play. And there is the 'lump it, hump it and hope brigade'. Win or lose I know what I prefer.

Gottcha!

I had planned to write a blog about April Fools day yesterday, but as I explained earlier I had a date with a black Welshman and a hyperactive Ukrainian.

I would have moved on today, until a sneaky peak on the net suggested that it was something worth pursuing.

Did you know, for example, that Accrington Stanley played a trick on fans yesterday? Funny thing is though, it seems to have backfired because people really liked the idea.

Another one that backfired was the 1989 story started by a Naples TV Station that Maradona and Madonna were having a fling and that she was expecting his baby. La Mano de Dios struck again however when he forced them to issue an on-air apology the following day.

My favorite, though, is the story here in my area in 1981 when local papers ran a story that Paul Newman was buying Forest Green Rovers.

I always wondered why he didn't.

Thanks to The Run Of Play for clearing things up for me.

Waterloo

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I didn't get home until the early hours of this morning after watching this lot and this lot live. Of course my lover and I had made arrangements to have the Man U/Roma score text to us as it happened.

I thought I would do a quick entry this morning, however, to tell you about a lunchtime conversation I had at a meeting during the day. I was talking to - lets call him Brian (a good name since it is actually his real one). Brian, I discovered, is a Yeovil fan and goes to most away matches. He is a Bristolian by origin, although he now lives in Somerset, and you'll never guess who he knew a few years ago.

None other than our own Ian Holloway!

It was at the time when Ollie was managing Bristol Rovers, where he is not deemed to have done terribly well. He then moved to QPR where - er - he is not deemed to have done very well either. His time at Plymouth seems to be regarded as more successful, however, and of course the verdict is still out at Leicester.

I don't want that to sound as if I am losing my faith in him. I think he is a great personality and as I have said before there is evidence that he has improved the standard of play by the Foxes since his arrival, albeit still inconsistently.

He does have what I call the 'ouch' factor though. I love his sense of humour but there have been times when I would have looked for a little more gravitas. It is difficult to find much to laugh about when you are hovering around, or worse still in, the relegation zone. At such times the use of humour needs to be measured and subtle.

Brian also shared a rumour that Ollie's Bristolian accent is not entirely authentic in that it is somewhat 'embellished'. I couldn't possible comment of course.

Ollie and the boys can look forward to a hard fought battle this Saturday against Sheffield United I am sure. Reminiscent of the battle I fought at the gig last night against against some dreadful French woman who came and stood directly in front of me then tried to invade my space. Unfortunately for her I have quite bony elbows which I strategically placed either side of me as I bopped. Within 10 minutes the space between us had opened up and it was Waterloo all over again.