Wednesday 19 December 2007

Result!


So then, my first guest poster last night.


I had a date at a party dressed as Batwoman.


Sometimes a girl has to make hard decisions. Do my post or go to the party? Anyway I hope you appreciated my compromise. Not bad for a boy I thought.


Now, turning to today's football stories, the allegation that Jonny Evans has been released on bail following allegations that he raped a woman yesterday is probably the most shocking.


It would not be appropriate for me to comment at this particular stage on the detail of the case but interestingly the topic of rape has featured in other debates this week. John Redwood sparked controversy when he suggested that 'stranger' rape is worse than being attacked by someone you know.


I should say straight away that I disagree with him.


But at the risk of incurring the wrath of feminists everywhere, I would say that there is a debate to be had. Crass as I think Mr Redwood's remarks are, it highlights the complexity of the issues around the subject.


I think the majority of people in this country would recognise that the stereotypical rapist with the full face balaclava who attacks an innocent stranger has committed a grave offence. Provided of course she was not provocatively dressed and out late at night on her own.


Which is when it all starts to get complicated.


Maybe this shows that we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe the problem is a wider sociological one.


What I am talking about is that perhaps we should be looking at sexual relationships between people and also how they are viewed by society generally.


I would suggest that the 'test' we should apply to judge whether sex is consensual is to measure the level of mutual respect that exists in the situation.


Casual sex if fine provided both parties choose to participate and are genuinely convinced the other person does too. It is about enjoying a shared experience. Mutual fun and joy.


But if you are not sure your partner in the act really wants to take part, then how can you be entering the relationship on that basis? You must be putting your own wishes and desires first.


You need to check it out. You need to be sure. And if they are vulnerable, perhaps through drink or emotion, you need to check even more carefully.


In essence, if men and women or same sex partners, whether in the moment or an on-going relationship, treat each other with the respect they would want themselves to receive, rape would cease to exist.


Now that would be a result.

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