More Than A Bistro

Tonight I went with my lover and his mother to this place for supper.

Always keen to debate life's important issues, during the course of the meal we were discussing whether the place should be described as a restaurant or a bistro.

I thought it could be described as a bistro, whereas my lover's mother was sure it was "more than a bistro".

My lover, in an effort to settle the matter once and for all, offered a football analogy.

"Think of Theo Walcott or Wayne Rooney. They are your bistro. Torres or Kaka. They are definitely more than a bistro"

So now we know.

Storm In A Teacup

Sorry I didn't get to post yesterday.

I was away at the lovely seaside resort of Torquay and did not get a chance to get to a computer.

Anyway I was at a meeting of a group of my colleagues in the South West region and was the coming together of a small group of people who have challenging jobs, with a degree of isolation, and who once a year create a couple of days of warmth and camaraderie.

We were able to say a touching goodbye to one of our number who due to complicated circumstances is having to close his organisation down. A heart-wrenching task.

It's a privilege to have the chance to say the things to someone we so often never get to say. What we admire about them. What we have learnt from them. How we will remember them.

We don't speak honestly often enough.

When you do it can get you into trouble of course.

Comments taken out of context and blown up out of all proportion.

And the fuss!!

It's a storm in a teacup.

The real story is in the everyday ups and downs of life.

In the human condition.

Have I Got News For You

Hey listen!

Have I got some news for you.

Talk about a scoop. I've got the hottest story around.

And I'm pretty sure I'm the first one to be breaking it.

Wayne Rooney got married today!

There - told you it was good.

In a top secret wedding - probably one of the best kept secrets of this century - he married his childhood sweetheart Coleen.

The event was a very low key, low budget affair and the couple insisted upon no publicity.

As a special nuptial gift, and by way of recompense for knocking England out of the European tournament, Croatia sent their own special gift of a very satisfying German defeat.

Can't wait to see how long it takes the rest of the world to catch up with that one.

What Football And Whoopee Cushions Have In Common

Funny thing pressure.

I mean it is one of those words that has lots of meanings that all mean the same. It is certainly a word we hear a lot about in the world of football.

There is the scientific definition;

"The force applied to a unit area of surface"
(such as that applied to Eduardo's leg causing it to break)

Pressure as an action;

"The act of pressing; the exertion of pressure"
(such as that applied by the forwards of a football team hungry for a goal)

Pressure to be attended to;

"The state of urgently demanding notice or attention"
(like our proximity to the relegation zone)

Sensual pressure;

"The somatic sensation of pressure"
(like the hug Rooney gave Renaldo last night when he scored)

The 'may the force be with you' sort of pressure;

"A force that compels"
(such as the twelfth man provided by a good football crowd)

And of course, the pressure we feel from others;

"To cause to do through pressure or necessity, by physical, moral or intellectual means"
(how many managers have 'resigned' in the face of that one?)

Pressure is often seen as a bad thing of course. Associated with stress and anxiety.

It can be a good thing too though. Peer pressure, for example, can be a major contributor to creating an effective team. And you need pressure to create change - whether in the environment or internally.

And of course, without pressure, what good would a whoopee cushion be?

There's Nothing Like A Mother's Love

Happy Mother's Day!

They say, don't they, that no matter how ugly or awful someone is, their mother probably loves them. And in most cases I am sure that is true.

Despite the heartaches it is a real gift to be a mother. It is certainly one of the joys of my life.

It won't surprise you to know, therefore, that mothers are often an important feature in the lives of footballers.

For example, there is evidence to suggest that Arsene Wenger's mother is responsible for steering him towards the Gunners rather than any other team as a child. I mean look what she named him for goodness sake!

And even if they have not influenced them in a particular direction, footballer's mother's can sometimes provide us with an insight into what has inspired their offspring. Kevin Keegan will certainly be hoping Berbatov's mother's belief her son has Newcastle running through his heart will help him attract the Bulgarian player to the club in the summer.

And the theory that a love of football can be inherited seems to be proved by the fact that Frank Lampard's aunty is married to Harry Rednapp, and their son, Jamie, Frank's cousin, also has a career in the beautiful game.

Of course, the maternal influences have not all been good necessarily. There is a rumour, for instance, that Wayne Rooney's mother is responsible for his distinctive facial features because she fed him too many sprouts as a child. If that is the case, then maybe if I had put more pressure on my children to eat up their greens, one of them would now be a footballing god too. How we mothers let our children down!

And isn't it heartening to know that even one of the most famous football manager's in the world at the moment, Fabio Capello, is still the subject of his mum's worries, not least because she is concerned he may do so well that England triumph over Italy.

At the end of the day, there's nothing like a mother's love.

Handbags At Dawn

I'm not usually prone to schadenfreude as you know, but I can't help a wry smile about the antics at Newcastle. Keegan is adamant that the appointment of Dennis Wise as Executive Director of Football was no surprise to him and that his position as manager has not been undermined.

I can't help feeling that he protesteth a little too much though. What do you think? I see handbags at dawn.

Much more interesting though, I think, is the immienent announcement of the England team for the forthcoming friendly against Switzerland on February 6th.

Will he or won't he include Beckham, if only for the one match. Many notable voices are speaking out in support of him getting his 100th cap for England, joining the elite group comprising Bobby Moore, Bobby Charlton, Billy Wright and Peter Shilton. Voices such as that of Sir Alex Ferguson, Steve McLaren and Sven Goran Eriksson.

And who will be Captain? I favour Gerrard.

As for other players, I would have David James in goal and Rooney would definitely feature. Be good to see some new faces too though. Kitson, Bentley and Young must be contenders.

And what of those who don't get picked and think they should? More handbags at dawn perhaps?

Oh well - not long to wait now. I will just have to manage my excitement somehow in the meantime.

Better Late Than Never

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. Combination of being very busy and feeling a bit mopey and 'can't be bothered'.

I know, I should be ashamed of myself.

It's not as if I have been short of material. For example, if I had posted on Wednesday, I would have talked about the press coverage on Wayne Rooney. He is apparently studying for GCSEs in Maths and English as well as learning to play the guitar. At one level you might argue that the report in The Sun is simply meant to be tongue in cheek. Personally I thought it rather cruel. Fair play to him I say. Go for it boy!

If I had posted yesterday, my story would have been about the Luton Bung Scandal. A whole load of Luton staff have been charged with breaches of financial rules. And guess who blew the whistle? Yes the man himself. Georgina's Best's hot tip to be the next Leicester manger - Mike Newell.

Today of course all the buzz is about the internationals. Scotland are due to play Italy tomorrow in Glasgow, having performed significantly above expectations so far in the Euro 2008 competition . The fate of England, however, still lies in the balance tonight after they beat Austria 1 0. A variety of convoluted alternatives could result in England qualifying by the skin of their teeth or being knocked out of the competition - a performance significantly below expectations.

Meantime The Foxes are having a little rest this weekend. Their next match is against Bristol City on 24th November. By that time Mandaric is hoping to have a new manager in place.

That makes two of us Mandy.

Something To Think About

So Rooney is out of action for a few weeks. Injured during training apparently.

He was complaining yesterday of being bored during the match between Manchester United and Dynamo Kiev earlier this week. Presumably if he gets bored actually playing football it will be even worse when he can't.

So being a kind sort of girl I have been giving some thought to what he might do to entertain himself. There are some great ideas here. And here. And indeed here.

He should think himself lucky really. Think about these poor people, locked away for over a year in an experiment to find out what boredom does to us. If they asked I could tell them - it makes us bored!

According to some, "boredom is the scourge of a self-satisfied society that has reached a certain goal of financial independence".

So Wayne - take a tip from a girl who knows a thing or too. Get yourself a few financial troubles. Maybe some relationship difficulties too. Oh and perhaps upset a few people so they want to give you a hard time.

That should give him something to think about.

Licensed To Thrill

Steven Gerrard has had a difficult few days. Not for any football related reason, but because he ran into a child with his car.

From the reports I have heard the child is in hospital but will be OK. Gerrard has apparently visited today and took a signed football shirt and a pair of Wayne Rooney's boots. The boy is a Manchester United fan.

Gerrard was driving a Bentley, despite being partial to the odd Austin Martin. Like James Bond.

Given his love of cars, maybe he should have a go at this.