A Nightmare Come True

I woke up this morning with the memory of a terrible nightmare etched on my mind.

Wayne Rooney injured.

Please don't let it be true.

But it is.

And we can only pray it is minor and doesn't dent our sweet dreams of world cup success.

Warming Your Cockles

Do you fancy a heartwarming story tonight girls?

Well how about the journey of one Mark Halsey?

A journey that started here.

Took him here.

And has brought him here.

Cockles of your hearts suitably warmed I hope.

Pizza In Paradise

Wednesday evening is going to be fun.

Pizza made by my lover.

Lager.

Woodburner crackling in the background.

Ecofan churning away.

Gooner Junior and his friend Seedy (Liverpool fan), my stepson (Chel$ea fan), Steve (Watford fan), the rock god (Reading fan), my lover and I, all snuggled together in our bijou front room.

All watching the big screen - Arsenal. v Barcelona.

And if that isn't enough......................

West Brom v Leicester City on Friday evening.

In my own house!!

I'm in heaven!!

Big Time Charlie

Is what the old bear feels like.

GB is otherwise engaged tonight.

BTC.....because, against all odds and the quiet expression of huge reservation, GB is (very much actually) "on message" with the big screen heaven that is the living room in our bijou house.

To explain, I've just spent a little under two grand of my retirement grant on a multi-media centre for (what my Mum would rather call) "the lounge".

So, with wood to heat us, a second-hand sofa to sit on, my rock-star son staying over (after cooking us a terrific supper )we are all being enchanted by 42 inch multi-media MOTD and.........wall-to-wall Alan Shearer in a (too-tight and awful) co-respondent collar shirt.

You win some, you lose some I guess!

Anyway, up-close and personal on the Samsung 42 inch, as we look on at the Chel$ea bench it becomes suddenly very clear to the viewing public in (what I like to call) our front room, that Didier Drogba and this person are one and the same, give or take the odd lump and bump.

What a great picture and I'm lovin' it.

She'll be back soon thankfully.

Take Care

HL

A Carlsberg Moment

And so it came to pass.

It's a miracle.

In my front room.

I'm watching Tottenham play Fulham.

And it's like I could lick the sweat off their faces (should I be so inclined).

It is truly, truly amazing.

Probably life changing.

A definite Carlsberg moment.

When The Grown-Ups Can't Agree

Well well well.

A very interesting resignation today.

Even more intriguingly, it would seem it was a matter of principle.

It smacks of some sort of power struggle behind the scenes if you ask me.

In contrast, the conflict within Fifa is very public.

With a decisive end to the battle for potency.

And whilst the "grown-ups" play their games, whose looking after the naughty children?

Things Ain't Always What They Seem

I don't see myself as someone averse to change.

I think I am reasonably modern in my outlook and prepared to move with the times.

But I really do struggle in situations where things seem to be changed for change's sake.

For example, after a hard day sorting around the house, my lover and I prepared to take as much as we could to the local recycling centre, which is about 7 miles away.

Sensibly, we decided to look up what time it shut.

After considerable searching on the local district council website however we drew a blank.

Eventually, almost by accident, we eventually found what we were looking for.

Not under recycling as you might expect.

For apparently, recycling centres are not that at all - they are "Civic Amenity Centres".

A useful lesson if you are considering searching for information about football managers too.

Certainly in the Kingston Upon Hull area where, it would seem, the Manager doesn't actually manage the team any more. And, strangely, they don't have a manager working at the club at all.

No, they employ a "Football Management Consultant".

Am I just making a fuss about nothing? Should I consider applying similar principles to my own life and call this blog , "For Female Humans Who Are Unable To Appreciate The Finer Points Of The Game Of Two Halves".

Cue Fanfare

Ladies and Gentleman.

I give you................

..........the one and only..............

..........the legend that is............

Mr.......Roy .........Hodgson!

All You Need To Know

If Iain Dowie is the answer, what is the question?

His was certainly not the first name that sprang to my mind. Not sure Hull's Board thought so either.

Still, he might surprise us.

His stats (according to Wikipedia) are probably more impressive as a manger than his predecessor;

Phil Brown;

Team	Nat	From	To	Record
				G	W	D	L	Win %
Bolton Wanderers (caretaker)		22 September 1999	19 October 1999	&0000000000000005.0000005	&0000000000000004.0000004	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	&0000000000000001.0000001	&0000000000000080.00000080.00
Derby County		24 June 2005	30 January 2006	&0000000000000033.00000033	&0000000000000007.0000007	&0000000000000014.00000014	&0000000000000012.00000012	&0000000000000021.21000021.21
Hull City		4 December 2006	15 March 2010	&0000000000000157.000000157	&0000000000000052.00000052	&0000000000000040.00000040	&0000000000000065.00000065	&0000000000000033.12000033.12
Total				&0000000000000195.000000195	&0000000000000063.00000063	&0000000000000054.00000054	&0000000000000078.00000078	&0000000000000032.31000032.31

Iain Dowie;

Team	Nation	From	To	Matches	Won	Drawn	Lost	Win %
Queens Park Rangers (caretaker)	England	01998-09-2828 September 1998	01998-10-1616 October 1998	&0000000000000002.0000002	&0000000000000001.0000001	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	&0000000000000001.0000001	&0000000000000050.00000050.00
Oldham Athletic	England	02002-05-3131 May 2002	02003-12-1919 December 2003	&0000000000000082.00000082	&0000000000000031.00000031	&0000000000000028.00000028	&0000000000000023.00000023	&0000000000000037.80000037.80
Crystal Palace	England	02003-12-2222 December 2003	02006-05-2222 May 2006	&0000000000000123.000000123	&0000000000000050.00000050	&0000000000000029.00000029	&0000000000000044.00000044	&0000000000000040.65000040.65
Charlton Athletic	England	02006-05-3030 May 2006	02006-11-1313 November 2006	&0000000000000015.00000015	&0000000000000004.0000004	&0000000000000003.0000003	&0000000000000008.0000008	&0000000000000026.67000026.67
Coventry City	England	02007-02-1919 February 2007	02008-02-1111 February 2008	&0000000000000049.00000049	&0000000000000020.00000020	&0000000000000008.0000008	&0000000000000021.00000021	&0000000000000040.82000040.82
Queens Park Rangers	England	02008-05-1414 May 2008	02008-10-2424 October 2008	&0000000000000015.00000015	&0000000000000008.0000008	&0000000000000003.0000003	&0000000000000004.0000004	&0000000000000053.33000053.33
Hull City	England	02010-03-1717 March 2010	Present	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	&-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1.0000000	!—

And if you remain unconvinced, don't forget he had the privilege of being assistant to the great Alan Shearer at Newcastle recently.

That probably tells you all you need to know.

1001 Tales

Can you believe it?

My Lover posted the 1000th post on this blog yesterday.

Honestlea-ah...! Talk about poacher goals.

I've been watching the counter go around heading for the magical figure.

I knew I was very close.

But in a moment of weakness last night, I took pity on My Lover's entreaties to be allowed to write on my blog and allowed him said privilege. And he ended up with a cameo role.

Of course, he will tell you I gratefully accepted his offer to stand in, enabling me to go to a meeting and have some time for myself at the end of the day.

I'll leave you to decide who you believe.

In other, more important news, it seems David Beckham is to go to the World Cup after all, St Stevie of Me demonstrates his Teflon qualities again and, there are rumours a certain Israeli has been spotted eyeing up the talent on local industrial estates in Hull.

Like a bat out of Hull !

Is almost a song by Meatloaf; mangled here by a well groovy dude.

Phil Brown (for it is he), dodgy perma-tan and half-time talks, is no more. He's gone.

Oh, and btw.....It's the old bear tonight. She's out.

And, as usual, Liverpool are on 5Live. They are combating a broken Portsmouth.

Currently the home side are 3 -nil up. The downside is that the buffoon Alan Green is giving us all the huge benefit of his magnificent yet maligned opinions on everything!

Anyway, back to Phil.

Interestingly, if listen to most of the people with whom he has been associated over the last few year, no one will say a bad word. This guy is an exception.

I do believe there have been several incidents leading to the guy's departure. I would suggest this, this and this, did not help.

The weekend's performance against the Arse, whilst lionised in the press as a gutty ten-man performance, was characterised by aggressive "career-ending" tackling of a vicious sort.

I imagine Phil might have said to his men, "get your foot in-give um a hard time" rather in the way Cpl Jones might have said many years ago.

No, Phil's departure has been a long time coming, People are saying Alan Curbishley may be the man for the job.

Frankly, I'm not sure and, rather in the way Newcastle and indeed, Middlesborough, may be realising, sticking with the familiar may be better in the long-term than getting another person in to change it all around.

At the beginning of the season, I said to GB, Portsmouth,Hull and Wolves are the teams who will not survive this season. She wanted Bolton to be in the mix.

We'll see huh ?

HL

The Party's Over

He thought it might be all over.

It is now.

There's Only One Alan Shearer

I became of fan of Paul Doyle today.

He writes for The Guardian, for a series called "Small Talk", and his article today was an interview with none other than that Newcastle legend, Alan Shearer.

What was interesting was that it gave me some new insights into the man.

Firstly, I have had confirmed my deepest, darkest suspicion that he has no sense of humour.

Secondly, I have discovered the reason behind his one-dimensional personality.

Apparently, it is because he had no interest in childish things.

He just played football.

So lets recap.

Limited personality. No sense of humour.

What's he got going for him?

Well, I suppose he can play football.

Caving in

Is what my boys did tonight.

I know GB's posted already but, as she has said, The bear is home alone.

They were beaten, fair and square, by a better side. Lille, are one of those teams in Europe who have form for this sort of behaviour. Strangely enough, they don't respect The Premiership. They're French of course.

I listened to Beeky, a devotee of all things Liverpool, undertake a match commentary, suffused with "why aren't the Reds sorting this" and "What the hell is Raffa doing?"

This is a team who, amazingly, lost only two games in the Premiership last year.

This is a team, a few short years ago, who were feared all over Europe.

This is a team who, it would seem, have lost confidence, lost direction and are (if I'm any judge) on the slide. Badly on the bloody slide.

Things need to happen fast.

Firstly, Raffa is not (in any way) the person who should manage this very English club.

Secondly, Hicks and Gillett are not (in any way) the appropriate people to hold Liverpool Football Club's purse strings.

Thirdly, please do not (under any circumstances) talk to this guy about taking over.

Rather, take my tip, go to one of the few people who will quicky restore a sense of dignity, pride and honour to the club.

Let's hope in bringing back a sense of the British Bulldog and............for goodness sake.......Liverpool Football Club to the fans, we can build into a team of which our little country can be justly proud.

BTW.......pay him what he requires.

HL

I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside

I'm away this evening. In Costa del Torquay.

A work event.

Nice trip down on the train, including several miles right next to the sea. Apparently when the sea is rough they have to close the line.

Time to reflect on last night's game between The ManUre and Inter.

Great performance it has to be said.

And what about Becks and that scarf? That's put the cat amongst the pigeons.............

It means My Lover is home alone of course.

Which is fine as he is pretty self sufficient, and anyway, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Fingers crossed that Liverpool do OK tonight though.

Otherwise who will mop his tears?

Would You Buy A Mortgage From A Man United Fan?

I've been to see my mortgage advisor today.

Yes, that's life in the fast lane for you readers.

Anyway, we did the sums and decided now is not the time to make a change.

We got to talking about other stuff. And in the conversation I used the short time most football managers stay in their job as an example of short term thinking.

"Do you like football?", I asked.

"Yes I do", he said, looking slightly worried.

"Who do you support? I'm a Leicester City fan."

"Ah, a Fox. I don't usually tell people who I support. They stop wanting to do business with me."

"Who is it then", I asked, hoping against hope he wouldn't say Leeds.

"They are playing tonight", he said.

"Ah, Manchester United. They're OK", I said, relieved.

Then a conversation about our surprise anyone would loathe Manchester United when there is the infinitely more hateable Che$ea. And how much we are looking forward to the world cup, our hopes and fears for England, and the pros and cons of Crouch and Heskey.

We've arranged to meet again in 6 months.

Well there will be who won the Prem, the Champions League and the World Cup to talk about.

If we get time, we may even check my mortgage again.

Rock And Roll Retirement

My Lover is starting to prepare for his retirement, which begins at the end of this month.

He is off work this week, and in addition to cleaning the oven and all the kitchen cupboards, folding his t-shirts in neat bundles showing the motifs "so he can see the full selection", vacuuming through the house, getting his motorbike ready for the road, refurbishing the freezer and making delicious meals, he has......

....joined the library.

Apparently it is a "little bit on the shabby side", but with one redeeming feature.

A copy of this poem on the wall.

"You know the story for tonight don't you?", he said, sticking two fingers up.

"What about the bugging?", I said.

How to choose?

Not an experience My Lover said he had at the library.

It's not all jam today being retired you know.

I expect he'll make the most of it though.

Don't you?

Don't Quit

Yesterday was my birthday.

Not my real birthday of course.

My blog birthday.

3 years, 993 posts (including this one), 181533 hits and 4 hit counters later and I'm still here.

It's been a fascinating journey so far.

Sometimes I have had to be really disciplined to post almost every day.

But the truth of it is that most of the time it is largely a positive experience.

On occasions it has been a great place to express myself.

Other times the learning vehicle I originally intended.

A place to explore some of life's mysteries.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

Here's to the next 3 years!

Not very nice

GB's away being a bit busy. Last night, however, saw us over in Reading for a night out here

The reason being GB has devloped an almost OCD- like interest in music like this and a dude was playing these sort of tunes at the pub.

The dude's wife is a hippy chick. The living embodyment of stuff like this.

After chatting at the bar, before the gig, the chick says to me she doesn't really do football. She (apparently) does not get the idea you can be a Liverpool fan and come from here.

Anyway, after explaining the rules to her. She looked at me gently and told the following story.

Raffa, walks into a local Liverpool Superstore. He spots an older lady wrestling with an errant shopping trolley. The gentleman in Benetiz goes over to the lady and says "can you manage?"

Obviously, we've all heard the joke before....etc etc Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Shows though, that hippified, left-wing, 60's chicks can love football if given the opportunity.

As Jimmy Greaves says, It's a funny old game


HL

Where Do You Draw The Line?

Someone of my distant acquaintance who now heads up an organisation in another county, regularly plays five-a-side football.

He preaches love and peace during the day, but turns into something of an aggressive monster on the pitch.

It's a tough game, football.

A man's game, My Lover says.

In a game that can be brutal at times, there has always been the opportunity to covertly include behaviours that on the street would be crimes.

So never mind the post mortems of England's glory last night.

Or the latest escapades of The White Pig.

This is the top story of the day.

I predict it is the first of many.

Sooner or later the situation will escalate, with a prosecution in the football league.

And then the impact will, in my view, be significant.

It poses a real threat to the way the game is played. It's very essence.

And the risk of career-ending miscarriages of justice.

And yet we can't keep protecting vicious, even life-threatening, behaviour.

Tricky!

You Win Some You Lose Some

Gooner Junior is at Wembley.

He got tickets to see tonight's match.

Lucky to have witnessed such an exciting game and a very creditable English performance.

He predicted 3-1to England.

Hope you put a bet on that.

Meantime as we celebrate our win, lets not forget that Football has suffered a couple of losses today.

A Plymouth Argyle fan.

And a football dude who will be remembered with great fondness by many.

I Want A P

I've been using some 'P' words around the house recently.

Much to My Lover's disgust.

"It's far to early to be talking about Playoffs or Promotion", he said.

I'm sure he would say it is for my own good.

That the higher I raise my asPirations and exPectations, the harder they will come crashing down.

I guess he speaks from years of exPerience.

But it's hard to completely ignore the Possibilty when others are whisPering about it too.

So I will try to retain some objectivity and manage my excitement as we triumph in the Playoffs.

I'll have a 'P' please Bob.

Premiership, here we come.

ABE?

I've said before that I struggle to make sense of the deep-seated animosity between the Scottish and the English (apart from all the bad behaviour, mostly by the English, across the centuries).

Interesting, then, to see the issue raise it's head again, with a row about a t-shirt.

"ABE" - Anyone But England. I understand Trevor Phillips has commented on the matter.

There is even a facebook group dedicated to the cause.

Unless of course things have been misreported.