Is Football Better Than Sex?

I had another football conversation last night.

My friend Darling (so called because she is one) and I were chatting to my stepson, Bumper Sticker (a Liverpool fan prone to crashing into cars on his motorbike) and two of his mates, (one an Aston Villa supporter and one a Toffees lover). We talked about all sorts, from hair products to, inevitably, football. During this we established that Mr Aston Villa fan uses no hair products whereas Mr Everton uses loads of gel.

This is how part of the conversation went:

Darling: What's so great about football?
Georgina: It's just amazing. Better than any soap opera. You couldn't make up half of the things that go on.
Bumper Sticker: What like you getting on Sky Sports? (he then proceeded to tell the story of how he had been away on a dirty weekend in Blackpool, turned on the TV to see me being interviewed)
No Products: Football's great. Better than sex.
Loadsagel: Better than sex?
No Products: Definitely

Now you might argue that this assertion tells us more about the sex life of No Hair Products. On the other hand, you could say that what he was describing was the depth of passion, of highs and lows that football can bring.

For example, what about the drama surrounding Justin Gregory that has been unfolding today?

A poor, harshly treated Blue Square South league player, discriminated against by the 'jobsworth FA', who seem to be breaking their own rules by imposing a discretionary two match ban. The whole football world outraged, shouting " Justice for Justin".

And then, in true footballing fashion, the story took yet another twist tonight, when Havant's match against Thurrock had to be abandoned part way through because a flood light failed. Meaning that even if the FA were to reverse the two match ban, Gregory would still miss Saturday's match.

Gregory is said to be distraught. Beside himself with anguish and inconsolable, saying a lifetime dream has been shattered.

I bet he's never responded like that to periods of celibacy.

So perhaps No Products has a point.