How To Speak Football

One of the things I have learned on my journey into football is the extent to which it has a language of its own.

For example, no self-respecting football fan or pundit would miss an opportunity to add colour to their dialogue with such classics as "At the end of the day" and "To be fair".

Then there is the 'statement of the bleedin' obvious', which forms an essential part of any football conversation. Like - "At the end of the day it's a game of two halves".

And for those for whom English is not a first language, (yes that includes you Mr Capello), this site offers a helpful tutorial on the potentially confusing expressions used not only by those in the football world but which have infiltrated our language on a daily basis.

Presumably there are equally things a proper football fanatic would never say:

"I shan't bother going to the match tomorrow. I'm staying in to wash my hair"

"It's not the winning it's the taking part"

"Eat a pie? I couldn't possibly"

Anyway I'm going to play it safe tonight, kick the troubles of the day into touch, lie on my clean sheet and snuggle up early doors.