Fox In The Box

Wayne Rooney is coming to Leicester City.

Honestly.

I wouldn't lie to you.

He may be a bit hard to spot though.

Because he will be in a box.

Oh No Not Again

How could this happen?

Another terrible football tragedy.

Why aren't we sharing the learning of our past?

I've been watching our Match of the Day DVD box set. Amazing to see fans regularly rushing onto the pitch.

It took disasters to effect the necessary cultural and behavioural changes.

But now we know.

We know the dangers and we know how to fix it.

So how come we don't?

Brave Hearts

I went to a wonderful party at a dear friend's house last night.

It was wonderful for a whole host of reasons. Warmth and hospitality. Great food, to which everyone contributed.

But best of all nearly everyone there did a 'turn'.

None of us are performers so it was as amateur as it gets. Except the quality was fantastic. From African drumming (her poor neighbours!) to a performance of Dancing Queen, complete with coloured wigs. With a smattering of traditional English songs, a poem by Pam Ayres and of course a few numbers from my lover and I.

Anyway the hostess recited one of her own poems.

It was a moving experience, not least as I have never heard poetry read by its author in such intimate surroundings.

It reminded me of how much I like poetry, my absolute favourite being the poems of Wilfred Owen. It was from reading his work I developed an interest in World War One history - not that I would claim to have any great knowledge of the subject.

None if which seems very connected to football. Until I was researching for this post to decided what to write and came across this story.

Followed by this story.

Some might argue these brave heroes are a different breed from their modern day counterparts.

They may say that. I couldn't possibly comment.

Collar And Cuffs

I am Detective Georgina Best.

At your service.

My mission?

To get to the bottom of a mysterious crime.

Why would the mother and mother-in-law of one of the best paid players in English football go shoplifting?

Short of money? Seems unlikely.

For a laugh? I can think of funnier things to do.

Confused perhaps? Possibly. I mean if you were going to shoplift wouldn't you pick somewhere a bit more up market that Tesco?

Well now I can reveal what really happened.




Rumour has it this man is in the pay of one Sir Alex Ferguson.

Bad Behaviour

Today, girls, we are going to think about bad behaviour.

Who, for example, do you think has committed the most fouls in the Premiership this season?

Close your eyes and guess before you read on.

It's Hull with 448, closely followed by Blackburn on 445.

Blackburn have also had the most yellow cards (63), with Newcastle and Stoke have had the most players sent off (4 each).

None of them as bad as this lot though!

Fan's Best Friend

They say that man's best friend is a dog.

Loyal. Dependable. Loving.

Always prepared to give you a friendly lick.

Entertaining.

Keeps himself clean.

Even if he doesn't always pick the best time.

Those Chel$ea fans are so lucky - it looks as if they might get to keep one.

We will watch with interest.

As they say - every Drog has it's day.

Rising Above It

FREAK!!!!!!!!!!

That's what they shout at Peter Crouch.

He claims to take it in his stride (which presumably is very long!).

I would say his record speaks for itself. And indeed his current performance.

What made me think of him tonight is the news of Jade Goody's death.

I can't help a wry smile when I think about how exposed those people who were so cruel to her are at this moment. Their unkind words echo loudly in the silence.

And now she has risen above it all.

Five Nil Five Nil Five Nil Five Nil

I'm struggling to hear myself think here.

My lover is wandering round the house singing "Five Nil, Five Nil, Five Nil Five Nil".

It's not that I begrudge him the win.

But it is a bit hard trying to hold a conversation;

Georgina: "What are we having for tea?"

Lover: "Did you see that first goal? What a finish."

Georgina: "What have you got on at work tomorrow?"

Lover: "Steven Gerrard is a god".

Georgina: "OK. I give up. Five Nil Five Nil Five Nil Five Nil".

The Derelicts

Money?

Check.

House keys?

Check.

Sat Nav?

Check.

Home shirt?

Check.

Scarf in back window?

Check.

And we were off.

Despite the odd hiccup (such as finding the greasy spoon cafe recommended by my friend Sandy derelict!), we got to the Walkers in time for me to purchase a Foxes badge for my cap and one of those thingys that goes on the top of your aerial.

The first half was something of a disappointment with the Foxes struggling to keep possession and string anything together. Going in at half time one goal down seemed to galvanise them, however, and the second half offered much more of a spectacle. Particularly Dicov's goal less than a minute after he joined the game.

Shame we only drew in the end. Some might argue thanks to the referee, who made a number of very questionable decisions, mostly against us, including the free kick that led to their goal.

I can hear you saying "That's right, blame the ref" but trust me it was a shocking display. Being quite new to football I sometimes struggle to spot infringements even when given by the ref. But I saw 3 blatant handballs, a number of free kicks and throw-ins given the wrong way and a clear penalty ignored.

As derelict as that cafe.

Which explains the resounding chorus of "One Nil to the referee" after Colchester scored.

On The Road

Hey! Guess what.

My lover and I are going on a journey on Saturday.

We will be taking a trip up the Fosse way.

Through Stow-on-the-Wold and Moreton-in-the-Marsh. Stopping for breakfast at a greasy spoon cafe on the roadside. Then on towards our destination.

The Walkers Stadium.

Junior Goonier was due to come with us. He may still. But a friend of a friend is in this country from America and he has offered to spend some time with her at the weekend.

A hard choice for him. I'm sure his decision has nothing to do with this friend of a friend being an attractive 20 year old.

Spit Happens

In a surprise move, the FA are to issue new pitch-side equipment.

An FA spokesman said;

"Spitting is the great untalked about in football. But a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.We want to provide the means for people to spit with dignity. And to avoid the odd misunderstanding"

I'm sure it'll work.

Aren't you?

Road To Nowhere

Is this the way to Amarillo?

Or Mandalay?

No - it's the road to nowhere - apparently!

Movin' On Up

I'm sorry but I won't be dissuaded.

Arshavin's first goal for Arsenal is one of the best goals I have ever seen.

I felt a definite tingle of excitement at that moment.

The Arse are on the up.

Better still for them that Spurs beat Aston Villa this afternoon.

My expert in the field, Junior Goonier, told me that despite it being against the grain, he couldn't help but wish 'Arry's lot luck today - which clearly paid off.

Those boys are movin' on up.

Dent-ed

Sir Alex of the ManUre.

According to the Telegraph this morning, in his reign at Old Trafford his teams have only lost 15% of their matches. According to Wikipedia, before today's match his win rate was 58.38.

Slight dent in those stats today I would suggest.

Not to mention his pride.

Silver Service?

Is it just me or is there more than a passing resemblance?

Storm In A Teacup

Sorry I didn't get to post yesterday.

I was away at the lovely seaside resort of Torquay and did not get a chance to get to a computer.

Anyway I was at a meeting of a group of my colleagues in the South West region and was the coming together of a small group of people who have challenging jobs, with a degree of isolation, and who once a year create a couple of days of warmth and camaraderie.

We were able to say a touching goodbye to one of our number who due to complicated circumstances is having to close his organisation down. A heart-wrenching task.

It's a privilege to have the chance to say the things to someone we so often never get to say. What we admire about them. What we have learnt from them. How we will remember them.

We don't speak honestly often enough.

When you do it can get you into trouble of course.

Comments taken out of context and blown up out of all proportion.

And the fuss!!

It's a storm in a teacup.

The real story is in the everyday ups and downs of life.

In the human condition.

What If?

My lover and I have a game we like to play.

Well a number actually. But the one I am going to tell you about is a football game.

It's called "What might they have been".

So take for example football managers. What would they have been if they had not gone into football.

Here are some of our answers:

Arsene Wenger - Choreographer, a dance genius
Sir Alex - Pub Landlord, of a thriving local with an international reputation
Gary Megson - Travelling Salesman, struggling
Scolari - Coach Driver, the sort you all have a whip round to raise a collection for
Benitez - Pork Butcher, with a sharp eye for detail
Gareth Southgate - Supply Teacher, its the fear in his eyes
Roy Hodgson - Undertaker, with a soft heart
Big Sam - Pieman, of course

Why don't you play too?

Per-lease!

Watching a grown man beg and plead is never a pretty sight (actually I'm not sure I entirely believe that but we'll let that go by for the purposes of this post).

How much worse then for a top flight club to be on its knees to its fans?

Of course there are some who will never beg.

But who are quite good at making themselves noticed nevertheless.

Who?

Well who else?

"If you want me to rule out ever being Manchester United manager, I can't. Special clubs need special managers, so in theory it could work."

"Yes, Manchester United are the best team in England, but you have to ask how good has the Premier League been since I left? If I was at a top club in England I think the title race might have been a lot closer this year."

God I love that man!

Football Heaven And Hell

A sprinkle of French fairy dust and all of a sudden you find yourself in football heaven.

Lovely!

And talking of football heaven, have you booked your seats for this yet? Released 27th March.

Not that Leeds United could ever really be described in the same sentence as 'heaven'.

'Damned United' fits the bill much better.

Boy For Sale

They say everyone has a price.

They may be right.

Sir Becks is certainly willing to sell himself to more than one buyer. Simultaneously. A sort of footballing equivalent of a 'menage a trois'.

It is clearly a creed Martin Allen believes.

He has been seen out on the streets of Cheltenham this week, looking for a suitable purchaser.

It All Adds Up

0 - The number of goals Cheltenham Town scored against us today
1 - Leicester City's position in League One
4 - The number of goals we scored against Cheltenham Town today
5 - The number of goals Leicester City Under 18s scored against Birmingham City earlier this week.
10 - The number of games left for us to play this season
28 - The number of goals Matty Fryatt has scored this season
135 - The number of years Leicester City FC has been going

And perhaps most importantly of all;

2 - The number of years I have been writing this blog today (can you believe it?)

'Twas Foretold By The Greeks

The ancient Greeks were a fairly clever lot.

Take the God Hermes for example (who appears to have had an aversion to clothes).

He had quite a big portfolio of responsibilities, one of which was sport. Obviously as football had not been invented at that point this did not take up all of his time so he had other areas of work including looking after 'miscreants'.

Then there was the writer and philosopher Aristotle, who listed amongst his interests poetry and literature.It was he who defined the different genres of drama, including 'tragedy', which relies upon the protagonist having a fatal flaw that brings about his/her downfall, sometimes death.

My absolute favourite is Diogenes, who spent much of his life living in a tub - as one does.

The point is that although these clever men predated football, through their wisdom they foretold some of what was to come.

Although I can't help thinking that the showdown between this particular tragic 'hero' and his wife on her return will relegate even the most blood thirsty Greek tragedy to the 'tame' division.

Cleanliness Is Next To 'Arry

Who ever would have thought ol' 'Arry was one of these?

Open Mouthed

Sometimes there are no words!

Cheetahs

Gordon Ramsay has not been having the easiest of times has he.

Branded a cheat over his secret affair last year. Now 'found out' about claims to a Scottish football career it turns out he never really had.

And of course as we know, many subscribe to the view 'once a cheat always a cheat'. Risking the danger that you might be punished unfairly.

So sign up now to get cheetahs out of the game for good!

Happily Ever After

Do you believe in happy endings?

Not sure?

Let's try;
Once upon a time there was a great football team. Their star striker put them one up within the first few minutes of the match but towards the end of time they were two one down. But then they scored. And lived happily ever after in the Championship.

Still not sure?
Once upon a time some football fans travelled all the way to Russia to see their team defeated due to fielding a weakened side. But as they made their way home the manager of the team offered them all slap up meal. And they ate happily ever after.

What would it take to convince you?

I know what it would take to convince my lover.