And Now For Something Completely Different

It's hard not to be obsessed with the Foxes dire situation. As my colleague blogger and Leicester fan Cunningfox will tell you. Not helped by today's news that Kisnorbo will be out of action for about 6 months due to injury.

But wallowing in the misery of it all will not help will it?

So lets turn our attention to something different........

Ummm...........

Let me see .......................

There must be some other interesting news around.

What about the great match last night that saw the ManUre go though to the Champions League final? Or the thrill as I listen to this evening match?

Yesterday's story about Ronaldo and the transvestites must surely be an amusing antidote.

Come on girls help me out...........

OK. I give in.

We're doomed!

What A Pong!

Creating bad smells is not what we girls do of course.

But we know a bad odour when we smell one.

Such as the story today that Sven is to be sacked from Manchester City. That definitely stinks. I know they haven't been perfect but come on. They will finish at least 9th in the Premiership - maybe higher - this season. Not bad, especially as it is his first season with them.

And the whiff of disloyalty and sour grapes appear to be in the air at Tottenham.

Worst of all though is the stench of the fear of relegation hanging around our house at the moment. My lover worrying for his precious Royals. Me just feeling sick at the prospect that we could be relegated by this time next week.

If I hold my breath much longer I'll turn blue.

Oh I forgot - I already am!

Leicester 'til I die!

Boing Boing!

Yes I know it's a little unusual to be supporting a rival Championship team but we need WBA to beat Southampton tonight to keep our hopes alive.

Come on you Baggies!

Trouble is The Baggies only need a point tonight to secure them promotion to the Premiership. I just pray they decide to go up in style and go for the win.

Come on you Baggies!

So tonight, I'll be singing songs in praise of West Brom.

Come on you Baggies!

I'll wear my navy and white striped pyjamas to bed.

Come on you Baggies!

I'll put a pin-up of Tony Mowbray on my wall.

Come on you Baggies!

I'll even watch videos of your fans playing on You Tube

Just win for us tonight. Please!

Boing Boing!

The Vultures Are Circling

Blimey! It's a bit of a war zone out there isn't it.

On the pitch they've been dropping like flies. According to one source there were 78 Premier League players out of action through injury as of last Friday. I don't know what that is as a percentage of the total but it sounds a lot to me.

And you are not safe off the pitch either it would seem. Even working at a football ground could render you vulnerable to ending up in a physical altercation.

There was the man who decided to do a bit of 'deer hunting' when his team failed to win a crucial game this weekend.

And according to The Telegraph, the vultures are circling at The Walkers hoping to feed off the rotting carcass of relegation.

The only way we can win the war is if Southampton lose their next two battles or we beat Stoke.

Please let it be OK.

I couldn't bear this.

Diary Of A Foxes Fan

Saturday 26th April 2008

8.30 Wake up. Debate with self whether to wear Leicester City shirt today. Decide against it as having hair cut and would be too itchy.

9.30 Arrive at hairdressers. Watch as my head is trussed in foil like a turkey. Read the 4-4-2 magazine I bought a couple of weeks ago. Learn about Eric Cantona and the drama and about the significance of the 1990 FA cup semi-finals. Wonder who Reading are playing today.

12.30 Call round to see if my son is awake to have a cup of tea and chat about football. No reply. Think about how important today's match is but don't let self get too optimistic for fear of later disappointment

13.30 Drive over to meet parents listening to Talk Sport to find out score in Chelsea/Man U match. 1 - 1. Take them into town to help choose a ring for my daughter's 21st birthday next week.

16.00 Talk to lover on mobile phone whilst buying a chai latte. He informs me Chelsea won 2 - 1. No news on Reading or Leicester.

16.30 Drive parents home. Hear on radio there has been a goal at The Walkers. Sheffield Wednesday 2 -1 up.

17.00 Leave parents house. Learn Leicester lost. Heart sinks. Feel anger and disappointment but no real surprise. Hear Reading drew Wigan nil nil.

18.00 Screw new coat hooks on door and do a bit of 'wenching' whilst listening to the very irritating Terry Christian and Jason Cundy on Talk Sport discussing various Premiership matches.

19.30 Discuss the football of the day with my lover whilst eating a plateful of delicious prawns rice and peas fried in sesame oil.

20.00 Further communicate with my lover listening to Rhodri Morgan in the background quizzing a 14 year old boy about football who got 9 points.

22.00 Post on blog then settle down to watch Match of the Day.

Scouts' Honour

One of the things that has impressed me so far about Mr Capello is that every time I see a match on TV he seems to be there. Scouting for talent.

Of course, with the TV and satellite coverage we get now of the football league there is an opportunity for the masses to spot individual talents as they emerge. And as we know every football fan could do the job of most managers better. Indeed, a recent competition in The Sun was aimed at recognising the scouting talent of fans.

Despite this, clubs still choose to employ the odd scout or two. Such as Gwyn Williams, credited with, amongst others, spotting John Terry at the age of 14.

Of course, as modern technology progresses it is not only the use of visual media and scouts that clubs have to rely upon to select suitable players. A more sinister development is the potential use of genetic tests to ascertain a player's potential.

You have to wonder where it will all end. And what may be next. Cloning perhaps?

PS: I just told my lover I had posted about Scouting and he got very excited and offered to show me his woggle. I'm off to stoke the campfire.

Rubbing Salt In The Wounds

I was sad to learn today of Frank Lampard's loss.

I was pleased to learn that Mandaric has declared he has no intention of leaving Leicester City.

I was shocked to think that the perfect Ronaldo could possibly miss a penalty.

But I was completely gobsmacked by one piece of news.

For I have learned that the man many hold responsible for the England team failing to qualify for Europe this summer will be, at the licence payers' expense, offering his 'expertise' to BBC Radio during the tournament.

I'm sure I won't be the only one boycotting BBC Radio and their new pundit, Mr Steve McLaren during that period as a point of principle.

The 'F' Factor

There are some men you just don't look at. Men who offer no attraction to you whatsoever. Like Iain Dowie (sorry Dowie fans!), or Gareth Southgate.

There are other men whom you don't consider physically attractive but who nevertheless hold a fascination for you. Such as Arsene Wenger and Ian Hollow Way.

Some men you can look at and think "Well he's not my sort but I can recognise what others see in him". You know the type I mean. Frank Lampard (I'm not sure I could love anyone named Frank), Sven Goran Eriksson, Steven Gerrard.

Men like Torres and Renaldo are just pretty to look at. Not in a really sexy way, just very pleasing on the eye. What they call 'eye candy' in some circles I understand.

And then there are the men who send a shiver down your spine. Men who stir something deep inside you. The "Mmmm yum yum" factor. Like Jose Mourhinho .......

(pauses to compose herself)

...... and David Beckham.

(further adjustments made)

But when it really comes to down and dirty, what you need is not an interesting personality. It is not a good brain. It's not even a particularly well proportioned face. (Although if they're on offer I'll take them thank you)

What you get with the likes of bears like Didier Drogba and Roy Keane is just one thing and one thing alone.

The "ffwwoorr" factor.

Neither Rhyme Nor Reason

I hear Hicks may be in a fix tonight. I hope no-one picks on him. But if he will mix with the fans who at the moment are pretty sick of him, what does he expect?

Rafa, the gaffa will be hoping Gerrard plays well 'ard tonight, if only to detract from the fact that the pact has fallen apart in the boardroom.

Grant will be hoping he can supplant the chants of the fans for Jose.

I have to say that at the end of a long day, I'm looking forward to putting my feet up to watch the cup.

And have no fear - I'll swig a beer (or two) as I cheer for those dear Liverpool boys.

I just hope the match isn't a bore as we've seen before and that someone scores early doors.

Fingers crossed tomorrow's post is not about how Liverpool lost.

When Push Comes To Shove

Did you see the referee, Mark Clattenburg, push that Birmingham City player yesterday?

There was some rubbing of foreheads and squaring up going on between the City player and an Aston Villa player and the ref just ran over and gave the City bloke a hard push away backwards.

I was pretty surprised when I saw it. Not least because had he stumbled the bloke could have had a really hard fall.

It is of course technically Common Assault.

Mr Clattenburg may of course argue that he was acting to protect the safety of others, which might offer a lawful justification.

One possibility is that he took a pragmatic (although not very PC) view of the situation and assessed that a bit of bog standard, common sense manhandling would be the appropriate course of action.

I might even have been prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, had I not found out one or two other things about him.

Derbies are clearly not an area of strength for him.

And he certainly seems a bit 'trigger happy' with the yellow and red cards.

Maybe the clue is in that last one. Perhaps referees are only given a limited number of cards per season and he has been so gratuitous with his, he has used them all up.

So now, instead of issuing cards he is resorting to summary justice.

I can't wait until the start of the bare bottom spankings.

Owning Up To Eating All The Pies

Eating too many pies is bad for you.

And sometimes you see people and you know they have eaten too many.

Such as John Prescott (who has his own footballing history)

Although I was saddened to learn today that this developed into mental illness for him.

He's not the first celebrity to fall foul of the invidious disease of bulimia, the most famous of course being this woman. Other sufferers include this man and our very own Mrs Becks.

A mixture of self loathing and obsessive behaviour rooted in a need to control are a powerful combination. The secret nature of it, driven by a combination of shame and denial, makes me think one of the psychological payoffs must be having control of the secret, important if you don't feel in control of other elements of your life.

I guess it all serves as a timely reminder of the importance of keeping our perspective on life as best we can.

You can have too much of anything.

Well except football of course.

And saying bad things about Leeds United..

Shiver Me Timbers

Phew!

We needed that.

A bit of a scrappy goal but we will take that thank you Mr Hume.

My lover is not feeling so relieved. His Royals lost 2 - 0 to The Arse.

And he's been poorly. Had the aches and the shivers.

Bless him!

Not full blown man flu (to be fair he was very stoic), but bad enough to make him somewhat subdued.

Anyway he is pretty much back on form this evening and cooked a great meal for us and friends.

I have to confess to still feeling a bit feverish about my beloved Foxes and their current predicament. Hearing MM talking on the radio this morning was a good analgesic though. He always sounds so reassuring. He sounded sad too so I am sure he is suffering with the rest of us, not simply concerned about the financial implications.

Come on boys. Shiver our timbers.

The Legend Continues

Ian Wright is a legend.

I have only known this fact myself for the last nine months or so, however.

I had heard of him before of course. I even knew he was a footballer (so he must have been famous!). And I remember him having some talk show on television which I thought was simply awful. He came across as wooden and not very bright to be honest.

I re-encountered him on Talk Sport last year, initially with horror remembering my previous experience. I remember at the time my lover saying he was really great and me just not getting it.

But gradually, gradually I have grown to absolutely adore him. Its as if he has found a new medium to express himself after football. Natural - not trying to be something he thinks he should be, but just being himself.

I have also seen him a couple of times recently on Match of the Day and completely seen the person I saw before. Like a fish out of water. No great surprise then to learn that he has left the programme, inferring he had been treated like a fool.

I completely agree with what he says about the format of MOTD. It is simply awful. But if you haven't got Sky, its a lifeline to girls like me.

So what is it about the Talk Sport environment that works so well for him? Is it because it is radio? Well maybe. He certainly seems to relax knowing he does not have to perform visually. I think it has more to do with the 'laddishness' of the station though.

It's interesting really, because as I have said before, it has taken me a time to get into TS and there are still some bits I can't abide. What I love about Wrighty is his ability to 'be a lad' whilst providing a wonderful role model for men. His down to earth moral reasoning about life, his willingness to listen and to challenge constructively and his childlike sense of humour, are compelling qualities.

And to top it all he used to play football like a god. With an interesting journey into the professional side of the sport, which I will have to tell you about some other time.

The legend continues.

Country Yokel Or Razor Sharp?

So Mr Hicks has been speaking out today.

I heard him on the radio earlier. And I have to confess I was singularly unimpressed.

His words just seemed like spin - without substance. Promises to make things better but no indication of how that might happen and widening the divisions as he did so.

It probably doesn't help that his name means "not very intelligent or interested in culture". I'm sure there is more to him of course, but whilst I think fans do recognise the inevitability that big money owners are more likely to be driven by profit than simply the passion of football, I don't believe that the two are mutually exclusive.

Indeed, if you think about it, most people trying to run a business would give their right arm to have the sort of loyal customers football clubs have in the form of fans. Getting it right means having the talent to combine sound business sense with an understanding of what your customers hold dear.

Sure football is a fickle world and sure you can't please all of the people all of the time.

But I can virtually guarantee that the very public divisions currently visible at Liverpool can only harm the club and its business potential.

Best they get themselves sorted over there - and quickly I would say. Otherwise one of two of them are going to find themselves walking alone.

Kiss And Tell

Back in November Georgina smelt a rat.

Not a major surprise then to learn today that Harry Rednap is taking action against the police for the way he and his family were treated when he was arrested last year.

I heard the news as I was travelling down the M5 with my lover on the way to a day out by the seaside.

Obviously as this is a post about football I won't be telling you about the wonderful crab sandwiches I ate at lunchtime at The Anchor Inn in Seatown, accompanied by a lovely pint of local ale. Nor the delicious triple chocolate ice cream I devoured to follow it up.

I won't regale you with story of how I persuaded my lover to climb to the top of a steep hill with me against all his inclinations.

You won't get to know about the groovy red hat I bought in Lyme Regis and wore the rest of the day or the succulent Lemon Sole we bought at a local fish shop and he is cooking for my tea as I post.

Instead I will return the conversation to the harsh reality of The Foxes' situation. Away to Barnsley on Saturday with a desperate need to win.

I should have bought another red hat like mine for Hollow Way. He needs a hat to pull something out of this weekend.

Urine Or Your Out

Where do you stand on the Avram Grant issue then?

Maligned competent manager or naive mediocre pretender?

He is as unusual in his own way as Mourhino. Although to be fair no one would argue that he has the same amount of charisma.

He seemed to appear in the spotlight from nowhere following the departure of The Special One.

Some brief research has, however, revealed that he has a strong pedigree for the role as manager of Chelsea.

His doubters point to a number of things. A lack of tactical ability. A failure to manage intra-team disputes. And of course that there is an air of the sinister about him.

Even his supporters struggle with his morose demeanour.

There are of course those who claim they have seen him smile. But evidence is scant it has to be said. When I put 'Avram Grant smiling into Google Video, the message displayed was "Your search did not return any results". Which probably tells you all you need to know.

Whilst he may not be blessed with the most beautiful of faces, he does, it seems, have a number of imitators. Such as this. This. This. And this.

I have, however, in my never-ending quest to bring you the very best of football information, found out why he has such a sour expression.

When you and I are drinking orange juice for breakfast, his wife, Tzofit Grant, serves him with this.

And in case you doubt me, that really is his wife, and she really is doing this.

I just wonder what she has in her glass in the picture above. I mean it can't really be ...... can it?

That really would be taking the piss.

A Walk On The Wild Side

If you were having a difficult time in your life, like Paul Gascoigne for example, there is probably a fairly short list of people who you might view as being good to talk to. People who really could give you the support and guidance you need.

But I bet I'm not alone in thinking that probably one of the last people in the world who would make that list would be this man.

With his conviction in 1992 for rape and disqualification in 1997 for biting off an opponent's ear, he doesn't strike me as full of the milk of human kindness.

That's not to say I don't believe that people can change. But feral boxer to counsellor? I'm really not sure.

Talking of feral though, I reckon The Foxes could do with a bit of that at the moment. A good helping of fighting spirit would certainly spice up their recent tame performances.

Always The Bridesmaid Never The Bride

I know I shouldn't keep posting about Arsenal, being a Foxes fan and all that, but I do feel sorry for them.

And there is something just a bit unsportsman like about Ronaldo - brilliant as he is. I saw some nasty sneers and mocking looks on his face today.

You are very clever and very talented Ronaldo but beware for pride will have a fall.

Wenger may not have won anything this year. But I still rate him.

In the meantime, I would simply like to dedicate this to the great Arsene Wenger.

Better luck next year mate.

Ian Hollow Way

I'm worried, I'm cross and I'm fed up.

I can't believe we gave away those two points yesterday - very nearly three.

I was not at the match but listened to it on the radio and read the comments by fans who were there. All in all it adds up to a very disappointing performance.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have been a big supporter of Holloway and have urged holding the faith on a number of occasions. But you can only rely on blind faith for so long. And for me this really has started to run out.

The thing that worries me most is listening to post match and other interviews with Ollie. He sounds lame and clueless to be honest. So much so that I have invented a new name for him. I will be calling him Ian Hollow Way from now on until he persuades me I should do otherwise.

I don't know what is going on in the dressing room at Leicester City but I sense a lack of direction and a match by match mentality. Whilst I know the fans are cross with the players too, we have some good men on paper who have shown flashes of what they might do within the right set up.

I'm not yet baying for his blood but I have to say if Hollow Way is manager of The Foxes at the beginning of next season I'll be very very surprised.

So surprised, in fact, I will give up pies for a month if he is.

No need to cancel my standing order to Pukka just yet though.

Please Please Please

I don't know about you but I don't have the sexiest of images in my head when I think of Colchester.

Somehow I can't believe anyone would really think it is a cool place and that the football team is worth supporting.

How wrong can a girl be?

In fact, presumably in protest against people like me, the Colchester United squad made a record inciting us to "Stand Up For Col U!".

And the excitement when they got promoted to the Championship a couple of years ago.

To be fair they don't seem to be that brilliant at scoring - even when there is an open goal. And their ground is nothing like as impressive as ours. And of course they are almost relegation certainties for this year. The dreaded second season syndrome.

Which leads me to conclude that if they stuff us tomorrow we are a lost cause.

Please please please may that not happen.

Leicester 'til I die!

Hit Me Baby One More Time

One of the many things I admire about my lover is that he works with male perpetrators of domestic violence using group work to help them understand, manage and change their behaviour.

It's complex and challenging work as you can imagine. It takes place within a context where the only way individuals have the power to effect change is on an individual level. Yet societal and cultural values contribute to the way they think and act. And you can't easily change the world around you. In other words its about much more than simply whether you hit someone or not.

I overheard my lover talking to someone about his work a couple of nights ago. The person he was talking to had done a placement with the Probation Service a number of years ago when he was a social work student.

My lover was explaining to him how different it is working with the men now compared to say 10 years ago. The biggest change, he said, is to the starting point of intervention now. By the time men get to his group, they already have a sense that what they are doing is wrong and have some desire to change. This contrasts with earlier times when domestic violence was a much more hidden crime.

I have to say, despite some real individual successes on the programme he runs, developing a sophisticated understanding of this complicated crime and associated behaviours within wider society is not mean feat. I still hear people say (although much less now I am pleased to report) "She must like it or she wouldn't go back". But there is an increasing awareness that it is a massive issue, not simply about men hitting women, but including same sex, women on men and elder abuse.

Hopefully bit by bit understanding and the development of an environment in which such behaviours can be extinguished will emerge. I'm proud that my lover is a part of that.

I hope Sir Alex's son will have reflected on recent events to reach out and receive the support and help he needs.

It Ain't Necessarily So

Someone said to me the other day "I wonder if you'll end up like Karren Brady, the woman who broke the football glass ceiling by becoming managing director at Birmingham".

My response now would be "I hope not".

I don't know what to think of all the corruption allegations. Logically, given how much money is in football these days and how much is at stake, you could almost expect there to be some dodgy dealings. The question is how much and who is involved.

If some of the people that have been put in the frame so far turned out to be guilty that would be truly shocking, simply in terms of how high profile so many of them are.

It certainly seems to be a massive operation and investigation that is going on. All goes quiet for ages then a high profile arrest or two then all quiet again.

Of course simply levelling allegations does not make them true.

Just ask the owner of Fulham.

No Laughing Matter

This won't be a long post tonight. I'm exhausted with the emotion of watching the Liverpool/Arsenal match.

What drama. I so wanted the Arse to win. They seem to just miss out all the time. And Walcott. He is a complete dream.

I went mad when Adebayor's goal went in. I thought that was it. And then to lose out to a penalty which was almost a carbon copy of the one Arsenal didn't get awarded in the first leg.

Babel's goal was the icing on the cake for them of course. But you couldn't claim that either team didn't put their heart and soul into trying to win that match.

Amazing.

So I have had a great, if agonising footballing evening Which began, interestingly, with a conversation on air with the man who runs this business. Who is also a Luton fan. (Well he would be, being into laughter therapy, wouldn't he? You'd certainly need a sense of humour)

Apart from that he was OK and we chatted about all sorts. My first foray into the local radio station I told you about the other day.

Oooh errrr!

Little did he know he was interviewing the soon to be famous Georgina Best.

You heard it here first.

On Your Bike Mike Pike

Ollie is not a happy bunny it has to be said.

He is adamant that the alleged foul that resulted in a penalty after 10 minutes on Saturday and the sending off of Kisborbo was not a foul at all and that in fact contact was not even made.

I haven't seen any footage unfortunately so can't make a judgement but if the claim that it was a bad refereeing decision by Mike Pike (you couldn't make it up could you!) turn out to be true, it will not be the first time that Kisnorbo has been wrongly accused and dismissed from the pitch.

The campaign to use video technology to reduce the risk of poor decisions in football, and indeed other sports, continues.

Mind you, sometimes players are their own worst enemies. Sometimes they have a gift on a plate but still manage to screw it up. Wonder how many nightmares Kayode Odejayi of Barnsley will have thinking about his miss yesterday.

He's not alone though.

I don't know which is worse really. Being the author of your own downfall or being the victim of a miscarriage of justice.

Either way, its painful if it's one of your team.

The Foxes are appealing the decision of course. Even if Kisnorbo's two match ban does get overturned, it won't turn back the clock.

Sometimes life is so unfair.

There's No Business Like Snow Business

What's it like round your way?

It's snowing here. Beautiful sunshine this morning after waking up to a scattering of snow. But now it is coming down quite heavily.

It created difficult conditions for some of the matches today too. Not quite as extreme as this it has to be said. Or this.

I have to confess to a child-like love of snow. Having fun like this, or this, or even this. There is nothing like it.

A bit of me secretly hopes we get snowed in over night. That way I could be holed up with my lover for the day tomorrow. Eating baked potatoes and drinking hot chocolate.

Shame we haven't got satellite yet. I'm sure we could have found some match replays to watch to while away the hours.

Fiddling While Rome Burns?

This is really yesterday's post. I have to confess that instead of showing some discipline and knuckling down to write, I allowed myself to be lured into an evening of wine tasting, delicious food and song.

A girl is entitled to some solace after a bruising 3 - 0 defeat.

I just had a quick look on Talking Balls and you won't be surprised to learn that the other Foxes fans are restless. There are a number of comments about Ollie finding time to do his weekly BBC column when perhaps you should be focusing on ensuring the survival of our team. Of course it is not a logical argument but the juxtaposition of another crushing loss with his lighthearted comments does feel a little grating. Fiddling while Rome burns?

He's not the only manager experiencing a rough ride from the fans at the moment. 'Average Grant' as some are now calling him, is feeling the pressure following Chelsea's defeat earlier this week in the first leg of the Champions League against Fenerbahce.

King Kev, on the other hand, has returned triumphant. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he is The Messiah after all. If this continues it won't be long before he is walking on water.

And Steve Bruce must be puffing out his chest this morning after beating his former team yesterday. Have some of that!

It's a world of winners and losers for sure. I just wish we spent a bit more time in the former category.

I Would Love It If They Came Out - Love It!

OK OK.

So you want to know about my Ronaldo/Torres fantasy mentioned in yesterday's post.

Well, as we all know, Cristiano Ronaldo is a bit of a dude. Besides being a hugely talented footballer he is extremely good looking. A fact not only appreciated by girls.

Torres too is very beautiful.

Neither is my type to be honest, on the basis I like my men a bit more rugged and earthy, but I can see their attraction and would struggle to choose between them.

I am not usually prone to drifting off into the world of homoerotic fantasy. But for some reason last time I was watching Liverpool play, an image of Torres and Ronaldo making out came into my head.

I don't know whether they like girls or boys or both. There is a bit of me though would love to see one of them or some other really top, loved football star, come out. What a challenge that would be for the footballing world!

There is certainly not a history of accepting gay players in main stream football. How could that world turn their back on someone at the top of the game though?

I hope someone does have the courage one day. I think the time may well be right.

Lump It, Hump It And Hope

By general consent The Arse was robbed last night.

It led to an interesting debate on Talk Sport this evening as I was driving home. One of the more informed debates I have to say. Fans of various teams ringing in and talking football properly, with passion for their team but a degree of objectivity too.

The discussion was about the top four and the sort of football they play.

Man U of course are simply on fire. They have great teamwork going on and whilst they have the odd hiccup it is hard not to view them as pretty amazing.

Chelsea, despite being up there, are not renowned for their beautiful football. And of course dear Avram (whom I heard described as a fat Larry Grayson today to me amusement) is getting some stick about his tactical abilities.

Then there is Liverpool, who in my view have some fine players (including the beautiful Torres. Which reminds me I must tell you sometime about my fantasy of what might happen if Torres and Renaldo ever got together...............................). They lack consistency however, and on a number of occasions now have, in my humble opinion, lacked shape and flair.

Finally of course there is The Arse. I know you would argue that results are what counts at the end of the day but I am a great believer that the means should justify the end. I would love to see them have a major success won through skills rather than simply power and brawn.

It's like someone said on Talk Sport. There is the beautiful football school of play. And there is the 'lump it, hump it and hope brigade'. Win or lose I know what I prefer.

Gottcha!

I had planned to write a blog about April Fools day yesterday, but as I explained earlier I had a date with a black Welshman and a hyperactive Ukrainian.

I would have moved on today, until a sneaky peak on the net suggested that it was something worth pursuing.

Did you know, for example, that Accrington Stanley played a trick on fans yesterday? Funny thing is though, it seems to have backfired because people really liked the idea.

Another one that backfired was the 1989 story started by a Naples TV Station that Maradona and Madonna were having a fling and that she was expecting his baby. La Mano de Dios struck again however when he forced them to issue an on-air apology the following day.

My favorite, though, is the story here in my area in 1981 when local papers ran a story that Paul Newman was buying Forest Green Rovers.

I always wondered why he didn't.

Thanks to The Run Of Play for clearing things up for me.

Waterloo

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I didn't get home until the early hours of this morning after watching this lot and this lot live. Of course my lover and I had made arrangements to have the Man U/Roma score text to us as it happened.

I thought I would do a quick entry this morning, however, to tell you about a lunchtime conversation I had at a meeting during the day. I was talking to - lets call him Brian (a good name since it is actually his real one). Brian, I discovered, is a Yeovil fan and goes to most away matches. He is a Bristolian by origin, although he now lives in Somerset, and you'll never guess who he knew a few years ago.

None other than our own Ian Holloway!

It was at the time when Ollie was managing Bristol Rovers, where he is not deemed to have done terribly well. He then moved to QPR where - er - he is not deemed to have done very well either. His time at Plymouth seems to be regarded as more successful, however, and of course the verdict is still out at Leicester.

I don't want that to sound as if I am losing my faith in him. I think he is a great personality and as I have said before there is evidence that he has improved the standard of play by the Foxes since his arrival, albeit still inconsistently.

He does have what I call the 'ouch' factor though. I love his sense of humour but there have been times when I would have looked for a little more gravitas. It is difficult to find much to laugh about when you are hovering around, or worse still in, the relegation zone. At such times the use of humour needs to be measured and subtle.

Brian also shared a rumour that Ollie's Bristolian accent is not entirely authentic in that it is somewhat 'embellished'. I couldn't possible comment of course.

Ollie and the boys can look forward to a hard fought battle this Saturday against Sheffield United I am sure. Reminiscent of the battle I fought at the gig last night against against some dreadful French woman who came and stood directly in front of me then tried to invade my space. Unfortunately for her I have quite bony elbows which I strategically placed either side of me as I bopped. Within 10 minutes the space between us had opened up and it was Waterloo all over again.