Marooned

OK. I have to confess it.

Despite all my efforts to keep in touch, I feel very cut off.

It’s not simply a question of not having a good source of up-to-date information about the various football happenings.

I am missing all the bits that go with it.

Alan Brazil on my way to work. Durham and Wrighty on my way home. Various web sites as I research my blog each day. Reading FourFourTwo.

We have brought the Talk Sport interactive quiz with us but it won’t work on the laptop.

Am I sounding a tad obsessive?

You could be right.

I have even thought of putting a message in the empty bottle once I have polished off this delicious chilled cherry beer.

Only problem is, there isn’t any sea around here.

Material Facts

One of the good things about being abroad is it causes you to reflect on things. Well it does me anyway.

So as I sat on the banks of the Mosel River today, sipping German beer and watching my lover tucking into Schnitzel and frites, I looked around to see what signs of football culture I might see around me and how this compared to what I might see if I looked around a similar place in England where crowds of people figure.

Bizarrely I saw almost no evidence that football even exists. One child wearing a Liverpool shirt with Gerrard on the back. Oh and a pair of socks with footballs on which I took a shine to until I spotted the German colours in the stripes around the top.

It seems surprising to me that a country with the sort of football pedigree Germany has should have such an absence of any symbol of consciousness of this.

But then I thought again.

Since I have been here, I have seen 7 or 8 football stadia. Every place bigger than a small village seems to have its own ground. Small local grounds but proudly signposted. Evidence that they are seen as being of value to the community – little stands, clubhouses, even floodlights.

What that tells me is that maybe the secret to a successful national footballing mentality is not embroidered onto the fabric of the clothes we wear. It is woven into the very fabric of the communities in which we live.

Football Nearly Killed Me Today

I’m not exaggerating. It really did.

I was on my way to Monschau with my lover. We are over here in his car which I rarely drive and so I thought I would take the opportunity to enjoy the luxury of driving a Skoda Fabia 1.9 Tdi (if I tell you I drive a 1000cc Yaris you will probably understand why I use the term luxury).

Anyway all was going relatively well until I spotted another sign to a football ground. This time it was FC Butgenbach.

“We must go and see that before we carry on” I said.

Which would have been fine if it had not involved me crossing a junction, which in my excitement I did forgetting that I should be on the right hand side of the road.

A few horns honking and yells from my lover later, I pulled safely over at the side of the road, vowing never to drive his car ever again.

Do any of you know the French for “dipstick”?

Scardey Cats

It is possible that some of you out there may be doubting my commitment to the cause as I am swanning around in Europe.

Well let me tell you, whilst I may not have access to any TV, radio or newspaper information about my chosen subject, I am doing all I can to expand my education.

Today we went for a drive around the neigbouring villages. In one of them, Waimes, we saw a sign to FC Wallonia. I felt sure this was a message from some higher power, guiding my lover and I towards new learning experiences.

We weren’t disappointed. The small road led us to a football pitch, complete with floodlights and a couple of stands that could hold about 300 people between them. Other facilities included a small clubhouse and about 40 parking spaces.

My lover was particularly impressed that the practice pitch had floodlights too. He used this phenomenon to go on to ponder that the Belgians like to do things in well lit areas. For example their motorways are always lit, unlike ours,

And as we remember from Friday night, well-lit car parks are also favoured by some.

Maybe they are afraid of the dark.

Second Best?

Today I concentrated on my French studies, picking up a free newspaper to read the football reports. Unfortunately the Liege “Dimanche” has a very limited grasp of the latest transfer gossip in the Premiership or how the pre-season training is going at The Walkers.

In fact, in truth it contained nothing about the football world at all. Other than a report on a local match that I could not really understand. There were a couple of pictures to be fair, which was better than nothing for a girl desperate to keep her hand in.

I haven’t managed to talk to any of our Dutch neighbours yet, not least because my lover and I spent a lovely couple of hours sitting the town square drinking cherry beer and devouring mussels. During the course of our conversation we got on to the subject of polygamy (as you do). I asked my lover whether I would be wife number 1 or number 2 if he had another wife.

He responded that it would depend who the other one was!

He managed to stem my wrath by asking which one he would be if Jose Mourhino was the other one.

Then I understood.

Howling At The Moon

Bonjour mes amis!

Well here I am at Summer School.

As you can see, I have passed my first test and found a way to get onto the internet.

I will try to write a post every day now I know I can although I might only publish them on the blog every few days so keep visiting.

I write sitting in a campsite in Malmedy, Belgium. I am surrounded by a pine forest and loads of Dutch people.

It’s not been without adventure already. After a plain sail from Dover to Calais, my lover and I slept in our little caravan in a motorway service car park. All seemed well until as darkness descended we became aware of a number of lone men sitting in cars or wandering around the car park in the glow of the moonlight.

We chose not to watch too closely but we have a suspicion they might have been there for some sort of ‘sporting activity’ which certainly was not football. Since children may read this blog I won’t go into any further detail, other than to say if this was a cryptic crossword, the clue would be something like “Canine cruising”.

Anyway, to more important things, such as my footballing studies. You will be impressed to hear I spotted no less than 4 stadiums on our journey. The Madjeski as we drove down the M4 towards London, one on the outskirts of Calais, one in the environs of Brussels and one quite close in Liege.

My mission tomorrow is to get talking to some of our Dutch neighbours about their team’s Euro 2008 performance. Tactfully of course!

School's Out For Summer

Georgina Best is going on tour.

I've decided to use this pre-season period to travel the world learning more about football.

Well OK - I'm off to Belgium on holiday for 2 weeks with my lover in our little caravan.

But don't worry - I won't be abandoning my studies. The holiday curriculum includes:

• Talking to people in French about "Le Football"
• Geography field trips to spot football grounds
• Reading Literature about the beautiful game
• Looking for a cafe with IT facilities to post on this blog (I'll do my best)
• Sports sessions where I practice my keepie-uppies (my ball is packed)

When we get back my new uniform (away shirt) should have arrived. Just in time for our first match against the MK Dons.

Your Loyal Servant

I see that hot from his return from holiday Sir Alex is up to his old tricks.

Apparently Chelsea do not pose a threat to him as they are all 'ageing'!

Interesting if what I read somewhere else is true, that the average age of the both squads is the same at 29!

His comments about Wayne Rooney are also illuminating. I wonder if they are indicative of a strategy to lower the profile of Mr Ronaldo and raise that of a player who is not only very talented, but has shown great loyalty to his team.

I've a hunch that whilst a pragmatist, loyalty is a quality the Scotsman admires.

Mighty Oaks From Little Acorns Grow

I was listening to Talk Sport on the way home from work today, as is my wont occasionally.

To my surprise I found myself agreeing with Adrian Durham. He was talking about the need for there to be long term investment in teams, where management takes a more strategic view of building for the future.

I'm sure he is right. But in this world of instant gratification, the pressure to deliver immediate results is massive.

The question is are long term investment and instant gratification mutually exclusive.

Not in the world of gardening it would seem.

So this is a message for all football managers out there.

Enjoy the blossom and the fruit. But don't forget to nurture your seedlings and undertake regular pruning.

Oh and the odd dollop of horse manure might help too. Or in this case bulls'.

Give Them An Oscar

Do you remember me telling you that my lover works with perpetrators of domestic violence?

Well recently he has been involved as an advisor to a film crew on the subject. You can view a trailer here.

Impressive huh? Scary too though.

Of course involvement in films is not what my lover is best known for (although he would probably add 'yet'!).

And given the soap opera that is football, perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that several former players have trodden a similar path.

There's dear, gentle Vinnie. Pele. Zidane. Even Shearer for goodness sake.

Still maybe we shouldn't be too surprised. There seem to a lot of footballers who fancy themselves as actors. Although the quality is somewhat variable.

Mick McCarthy Got No Balls

My lover and I went to my friend Rupert's party last night.

We got talking to someone my lover used to work with. He is a musician and plays the fiddle and mandolin.

All seemed to be going well and we got onto the subject of football. To be fair he rates Wenger, so clearly has a modicum of taste.

Unfortunately, however, he is a lifelong W*****s supporter. Even more interesting was that he does not believe you should choose your team. It should be something given to you by someone else (your dad supports them, your mates support them etc.) and you are then stuck with it.

Well at least that explains his 'choice' of team I guess.

After a couple of beers he was prepared to concede that their current manager is not all one might hope for. A sentiment shared by one Roy Keene.

Apparently Keene's beefs included an allegation that McCarthy shamed and undermined him in front of his team mates, accusing him of being a liar, as well as a lack of adequate tournament preparation, which including them being expected to train without any balls!

I think he probably fits in well at the Molinuex Stadium

From The Arse's Mouth

I rang my son today.

Lets call him Georgie Jnr.

It took ab0ut a minute for the conversation to come around to football.

Just as I had planned of course.

Georgina: So Georgie Jnr. I need to tell you I am broadening my approach this season for the blog and I'm going to take a special interest in a team from each of the four top tiers. I'm going to need some help though. Some correspondents in the field. I'd like you to be my Gunners correspondent.

Georgie Jnr: OK

Georgina: So tell me, what do you think of the suggestion that Wenger is in trouble having lost most of his midfield?

Georgie Jnr: I think it'll be fine. He's got some good signings already - Nasri and Ramsey. One more would do it. Hleb's going is a good thing I think. He never shoots. He passes well but has only scored 6 or 7 in the last 3-4 seasons. Even when he's in front of the goal mouth he passes rather than shoots.

Georgina: Thanks Georgie Jnr. I'll post your report on the blog.

In case you are wondering what Georgie Jnr's footballing credentials are and whether he can be deemed fit to act as a correspondent to this blog, I can say that he has been supporting The Arse since he was about 7. He is also in a five-a-side team called " FC Supermeat".

I think that probably tells you all you need to know.

Friends, Facebook And Football

Anyone who is anyone has a social network site these days it seems.

I have to say that although I do have a Facebook site I am not very good at keeping it up to date. A case of the novelty wearing off I guess.

What I do like about such sites is it offers a great way to keep in touch with people who live at a distance. For example my stepson and his wife had a baby earlier this year. Facebook has provided a great way to track my grandson's development as it is likely to be some time before I have the opportunity to see him.

Anyway, just to keep you entertained in these quiet pre-season days, here are some suggestions for how some of our top footballers' sites might look.

There's Only One Sven

........ or is there?

Hats Off To 'Em

If you are a football purist I suggest you look away now.

For those of you remaining, I wish to announce that this season I will have a preferred team in each of the top 4 divisions.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a Leicester City girl now until I die.

But I have developed a particular interest in several other clubs. Furthermore, as I enter my second full season as a football fan, following a number of teams will help broaden my knowledge and interest.

So who will I be supporting (in an 'I'm not going to wear the t-shirt or star in the video' sort of way)?

In the Premiership it will be the Arse.

Now don't sigh. I have good reasons. I like the way the play and I like the way they go about things on the whole.

In the Championship it will be Reading.

It's a way of showing some sympathy to my lover following his team's relegation last season (and we know how that feels don't we girls).

In League One of course my beloved Foxes.

And in League Two I will be watching the progress of Luton.

I think they have been dealt a really bum deal so it's my little token of support for them.

I hope they all have some real success this season.

So boys - get out there and do your stuff. It's going to be tough but you can show 'em.

Hats off to you.

Its The Way I Tell 'Em

Fire brigade phones Kevin Keegan in the early hours of Sunday morning....
"Mr Keegan, St James' Park is on fire"
"The cups - save the cups" screams Keegan
"Don't worry sir - the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet"

Q. What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A. God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson

Q. What do you call a Chel$ea fan on the moon?
A. A problem
Q. What do you call 100 Chel$ea fans on the moon?
A. An even bigger problem
Q. What do you call all the Chel$ea fans on the moon?
A. Problem solved

Q Why do Leeds fans whistle on the toilet?
A. So they know which end to wipe

OK. OK. I'll stop.

It's been a slow news day.

Lets hope tomorrow is better for all our sakes!

Fantasy Headlines

10 Headlines you would like to see tomorrow morning but probably won't:

"Blatter sacked as he is carried off screaming by half a dozen men in white coats"

"Leicester City fans have been victims of hypnosis and have woken to find their team's relagation was all a terrible dream"

"Capello says introducing women to the England team is the key to success"

"Ashley Cole comes out of the closet and declares undying love for John Terry"

"All speculation ended as Cristiano Renaldo makes up his mind"

"Peter Crouch really is a robot"

"Fergie in shock resignation as he heads off to rescue Leicester City"

"It's a miracle. The blind have been healed. Wenger can see!"

"Dunlop release new umbrella in the shape of Steve Mclaren's face"

"Pearson announces new second in command at Leicester. A knowledgeable Foxette by the name of Georgina Best"

Schober As A Judge

The Foxes are training in some secret location in Slovenia apparently.

There will be a friendly match but all held behind closed doors.

There is some discussion on the fan website about the delights Slovenia has to offer, including, it would seem, some 'party girls' and copious amounts of alcohol.

I'm sure the other fans know better than me the various distractions on offer to players at these summer training camps so I won't offer further comment.

I can't help wondering whether they might have chosen better if they had gone to Belarus. I heard the parties are so good even the referees join in.

Should He Stay Or Should He Go?

Stop messing about son. It's make you mind up time!

Something For The Weekend

Hands up if you hate food shopping.

Me too.

It's a miserable fact of life though isn't it. It's got to be done.

That task and a variety of others are the reason I didn't get time to post yesterday.

My lover says I have a "supermarket face" (which coincidentally is very similar to his "going up hills face"). He, bizarrely, seems to quite like the experience.

I have discovered there is only one sure way to make such a trip bearable.

No, not a raid on the chocolate at the checkout counter (although that is always a welcome distraction). Nor bombing around the shop using the trolley as a scooter (despite the almost overwhelming temptation on occasions).

The only way to survive a visit to the supermarket for me these days is to come out clutching my copy of "FourFourTwo".

I've been buying it for the last few months. It proved particularly useful for Euro 2008 and offers yet another learning opportunity to a girl trying to backfill forty something years of neglect in the football knowledge department.

The latest edition includes a FREE 36 page magazine, compellingly entitled, "FourFourTwo Weekend Wonders - inside the magically mediocre world of Sunday League".

In the absence of any football on this Saturday afternoon, therefore, I will be reading about the 20 rules of Sunday League gaffership (which include "Get a big coat" and "Get your shouting sorted"), a profile of FC Fossa, the worst five-a-side team ever (the first line of the article reads "Yeah, we are pretty s**t") and the wealth of opportunities out there for everyone to get involved (amputee football, blind football, refugee football, Jewish football, gay football , and of course not forgetting dwarf football)

Whoever said Saturdays are boring?

It's A Disgrace

I texted Luton Andy today.

Remember him?

He is a friend of my lover and a Woking fan. He is also a major Hatter's fan (hence the name).

My text said:

"Just heard the news. 30 points! It's a disgrace. Hope life is better for you in other regards. Georgina. x"

The news I was referring to was this of course.

He hasn't text back yet. I think he may be crying.

Not that I would condone or minimise the things that led to the punishment. But you do have to wonder where it will all end. The club now appear to have a group of people really committed to making things work in a transparent way, yet again and again they are slammed for the misdemeanours of Board members and staff now long gone.

In other disgraceful news that disgraceful numpty Sepp Blatter has disgraced himself once again. With all the sensitivity of an elephant balancing on a daisy (yes I know the simile is not very good but I just made it up) he has likened the transfer system for multi-millionaire salaried players to slavery.

What is he on?

Disgraceful!

Head In The Clouds

"He's big He's red His feet stick out in bed"

I do love Peter Crouch you know.

He reminds me of my son in a way.

But he is much much much much much much taller.

Liverpool won't be the same without him, that's for sure.

The good news of course is we might see more of him playing now he is at Pompey.

What I like best about him is his 'differentness'. I mean if you had never seen him before and were asked to guess what he did for a living, football player would probably be very low down on the list.

Even at school he stood out from the crowd.

He is confined to a world where almost everything is too small for him.

Good job he has a sense of humour.

See you again soon Crouchie.

Patience

I'm tired of waiting for the new football season to commence.

I just don't know what to do with myself.

Time goes by so slowly.

I try to find bits and pieces to do. Keep myself a busy bee.

It's not that easy though.

What I need is more patience I guess.

In The Mix

I know this is a football blog but did you watch the tennis final yesterday?

What a fantastic display of skill, strength, athleticism and character by both the Spaniard and the Swiss.

And what a summer it has been for Spain. First European football champions and now Nadal winning at Wimbledon.

I'm more interested today in news from another European county, however. For it would seem the latest addition to our skulk of Foxes is one Aleksander Tunchev from Bulgaria.

(In case you are wondering, a skulk is the collective term for a group of Foxes. Don't ever say this blog is not an education in its own right!)

Meanwhile in other news, Chel$ea are set to have a little taste of Italy today and Real Madrid are still stalking the Portuguese wonderboy. Newcastle on the other hand are trying to fight off claims that international interest in them comes from a somewhat less appealing source elsewhere in the world.

Still a bit of controversy might shake things up.

Most things are better shaken than stirred I find

Everyone Wants A Bit Of Arse

Everyone wants a bit of Arse it seems. Arshavin I mean of course.

I wonder who will finally score. Barcelona? Arsenal? Chelsea?

It's like a game of chess isn't it. Everything has a knock on effect. If someone sells who will they backfill with. And so on.

Of course, Arse racing is nothing new.

Nor is wanting to be an Arse in the spotlight.

Perhaps the new call from the stands of whichever club he ends up at will sound like this.

Keeping It Up

It's a bit boring in the world of footy at the moment to be honest isn't?

I mean I know there is all the transfer stuff and other shenanigans, but it's not the same as when the season is underway and you are engaged in the emotion of the fate of your team.

What is a girl to do to keep her spirits up?

I'm a great believer that we are all responsible for our own happiness in life ultimately.

Which is why when my daughter and I went shopping today and bought me first football.

Accustomed to her mother's somewhat unusual quirks, I'm pleased to say my daughter suspended any thoughts she might have had about the oddness of this behaviour and helped me choose something suitable.

With the advise of one of my reader's, Derek (see comment on this post), in my mind, I have purchased a lovely shiny white one with navy markings. Size 5.

Now don't fret that I'm jumping ahead of myself here. I know I probably have a little way to go before I am ready to grace a pitch.

But what better way could there be to lift my spirits than a bit of keepie uppie?

I've had a little go.

It's not easy is it?

If you've never tried then now's the time girls.

Anyway I'll keep you posted on my progress.

And let you know when I can do this.

News From The Foxes' Den

So shall we take a look what's new at the Foxes' lair then girls?

Well for one thing the kit.

LCFC have launched a new away kit. Not bad is my verdict (despite the dodgy sponsorship logo). I think Georgie Girl would look pretty cool in one of those tops. Anything to seek a bit of attention.

Then there are the two new backroom staff, Craig Shakespeare and Steve Walsh.

And Mr Pearson has started off his tenure with some disciplined training it would seem.

I also learned today that Leicester City are rated 5/1 by the bookmakers to return to the Championship this coming season.

So it's not all doom and gloom. And this little foray into the world of Leicester City once more has left me with a little stirring inside of hope and expectation.

I'm so excited.

The Daily Best

You just have to love newspaper headlines don't you?

Today's delight in The Sun was "Flog Drog".

Which has inspired me to report other elements of today's news in similar style.

Adey's Paddy.

Villa Tarry Over Barry Decision.

Dotty Motty Will No Longer Drive Us Potty.

Yes, well OK - this is only a blog not a newspaper after all.

So its bye bye for now from Gorgy Georgie (That's as in 'gorgeous' rather than 'very greedy!')

Web Of Delight

So today's hot news is that Spiderman has been captured by Newcastle.

His name, it seems, stems not from having 8 legs (although that would be handy for a striker wouldn't it), nor for an ability to spin around defenders to score (which would also be a useful asset).

No, the Spiderman of the football world is so named because of his somewhat eccentric goal celebrations.

Not a phenomenon new to those of us who are students of the beautiful game. Remember this?

So come on girls. We've been working hard on our studies. I think we deserve a little indulgence.

Feet up and have a little taste of this and some of that to tickle your fancy.

Then decide if you agree with the judges on these.

Hanky Spanky

What should you do with troublesome renegades?

It's a problem that has exercised many over the years. Even those close to God.

Newcastle now face the problem in relation to Joey Barton of course. Bad boy of pitch and street.

It's a tricky one . I've heard people say he should simply be sacked. Others would argue that he has been punished by the courts and should not face additional sanctions.

As a Premiership footballer he is a very public role model. If he was able to turn himself around that could be a very powerful inspiration to others.

What would I do?

I'd draw up a behaviour contract with him. I would make it clear that if he breached that then there would be sanctions which could include dismissal. Alongside that I would offer support to make changes to his attitudes and behaviours.

I think it is critical to pass the responsibility for his behaviour to him, whilst also offering help.

Alternatively of course the Magpie's could consider some physical punishment which I guarantee he would never forget.